"ON A HILLSIDE DESOLATE"

Look at that! March, folks, is Small Press Month. We should celebrate! Let's start by taking a look at the Small Press Month website. Especially the Things To Do section. Look at all of the ways we can easily support small press media.

I'm just saying. It wouldn't kill you.

"THE END OF THE LINE"

My brother is a photographer, and a great one at that, but randomly, a travel guide, Schmap, found one of my photos in Flickr of New Orleans and wants it use it. Hey, by all means. How very unexpected!

In other news, I am flying through my To Do list this weekend and happy as a clam. Deadlines, odds and ends and it's all coming together wonderfully. I timed it all perfectly, too, so that by this time tomorrow, I'll be about finished and ready to head into 2008 on top of things and super-organized for everything coming my way.

(grin)

"ASK ME, UH-HO-HO, ASK ME"

I sat down last night and worked through my known schedule for the next six months. Sure, not much is known six months ahead, but a deadline here and there, that sort of thing. Anyway, it felt nice to get it down and see six months' worth of deadlines and events and such.

Otherwise, I'm just working on odds and ends today. New book. Katie Schwartz's book that I'm editing. An anthology. A project. Another project. More on all that after the new year, kids. Trust me, I'm dying to loop you all in.

But before I go:

Here's my favorite quote today from an email exchange I had with Jeff Harrell: "I've got a succulent outside and a dry, bitter inside. I'm like the opposite of all the good candies."

"SECONDS TO SPARE"

Chag Sameach, darlings.

Chicago is snowing its ass off. It's lovely. Bitch all you want about snow, but I love it. I like driving in it, I like walking in it, I like watching it from my windows, I like watching my cat watch it incredulously, I like hearing people crunchily drive past my apartment on the street below in it, I like to sit in a shitted-out bar and have a drink and watch snow fall. I like it. Oh, please, I hope my shower doesn't freeze again this year.

But know what I'm not as crazy about? Comcast. Because Comcast can suck it, because I don't think a single month has gone by in the past two and a half years that I haven't had some sort of issue with them, I am only able to get a wireless signal from the far southeast corner of my apartment. Forch for me, my bedside table and the right side of my bed are also in the southeast corner of my digs. So, I can only get online in the hay. It's been this way for days. Anyway. Ever tried to get a Comcast tech out "asap"...? Yeah, no, yeah. Thursday between 8 and 10 am, say they. The last time they sent a tech, they rescheduled every day for eight business days, rescheduling each day after the allotted time. I suspect that has something to do with my being able to wrangle a two-hour widow out of them this time, but it might also be because the guy on the phone this time was Canadian. And you know me and the Canadians. I (heart) the Canadians.

I did a lot today. I drank a lot of coffee today. It's way past my bedtime and I'm not showing signs of shutting down just---- zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"ANYTHING IS HARD TO FIND"

Yo, writerly types: Raincoat Flashers needs some editorial help part-time.

"YOU JUST HAVEN'T EARNED IT YET, BABY"

I just hopped on to wish Rational Leftist Yom Huledet Sameach/Happy Birthday and as I started digging through the news to say something like "not only do we celebrate Retardation Awareness Day, but we also can wish Rational Leftist..." I realized that, dude! Evil Kinevel has died. Just now. Evil Kinevel. Dead. On Rational Leftist's birthday. Well, anyway, go over and see him in a Mexican wrestling mask, glasses and a kippah and wish him a happy day.

Well, my head is spinning with wrestling masks, and Evil Kinevel now. Oy vey, what can I possibly add?

The editing has started on Katie Schwartz's manuscript. She delivered it unto me, and I got right down to biznass on it. How excited are you for her book to come out? Well, you can't possibly be more excited that I am, but you should be pretty excited. Because it's going to rule.

Strangely, I am confined-ish to my apartment and rather glad. You see, the tale goes something like this. Tuesday morning, I took my car to the dealership to get it serviced and to address a tiny little issue. I don't let myself get ripped off by mechanics, so I usually go to them, but this was a recurring thing and I wanted it fixed for good with the right parts and blah blah. Howevah, my 50,000-mile warranty just, just, just expired so naturally the car falls to shit. Anyway. Through the course of the week, it has been determined that the source of this minor issue was one of those "the foot bone's connected to the leg bone, the leg bone's connected to the... rebuilding of the whole fucking engine" sort of deals, so blah blah, I balked at the original total and have arrived at a more mutually agreeable total. And by "balked" I mean of course, "put on gloves, cracked my knuckles, sneered like Billy Idol, and put on my razzle dazzle negotiating shoes and got some shit worked out." Anyway, when the poor service rep called the tell me it would be Monday before the shit was all finished, and after I'd given him my reasons he'd have to come up with a better total plus some good perks, I realized I'm home and carless all weekend.

And, instead of being pissed like I assumed I would, and instead of renting one, I was thrilled and relieved. It means I can hit my deadline this weekend without ahhj. It means uninterrupted catch-up. It means I can plow through all that's on my plate and emerge re-organized and on top of the game again. And that is my favorite feeling evah.

Plus, tonight's high temperature is going to be 23 degrees, tomorrow there is a winter storm watch with a high of 32, and Sunday a low of 18 degrees. So, you know what? I don't want to leave my digs anyhow.

"THE STORY OF MY LIFE?"

You know what I wonder? On cop shows, when you hear about detectives digging into a victim's personal life to see what kind of people they are/were, I wonder where you start? You know what I mean? I guess you'd go through bank statements and such, to see where someone spends their money and all, but what else? Credit reports? Cell phone records to lead you to friends and family members to talk with? I'm just curious here, because I'm watching a thing on Court TV, well, not really watching, but I have it on as background noise, and just heard a detective say, "As we looked into the victim's background, we quickly realized she wasn't the kind of person who would intentionally disappear."

I mean, I suppose that you could easily dig dirt on someone with criminal records or changes in legal relationship status or credit collections or whatever, but what if you've never been arrested or gotten married or divorced or had kids or been sued and you pay stuff on time and whatnot. How do you check out someone who doesn't really have much dirt? Know what I mean? How would someone take a fairly squeaky person and say confidently that they'd never run away from it all? Am I over-thinking it and it's only a matter of talking to people who know the victim? I'm mostly asking for my own curiosity, but maybe a tiny bit as a writer, too.

"STOP ME, UH-HO-HO, STOP ME"

There is something weird going on when I try to paste my text to make a Jewcy.com post. Weird as in, it shuts me outta the site, so unfortunately, I can't share my posts with you today, but as soon as the tech dude is in the office in the a.m., I'm sure we'll figure it out and you can read the hippie-dippie thing I wrote about the Bal Shem Tov. Better yet, it'll just be a weird glitch that works itself out overnight. Oh please, oh please.

Anyway, I'm kinda over dicking around with my laptop for one night so I'm going to hit the hay. Today felt like it was a week, har. Zzzzz.....

"YOU JUST HAVEN'T EARNED IT YET, BABY"

Hi all. I'm working from a cafe tonight near my apartment. A couple was in here before breaking up, which I found weird. I was glad to have my earbuds with me rather than hear their strange, dramatic final moments. There was a break in their conversation, well, a lull that had a strange moment in it but then lulled again and went back to the breaking up. But, the lull conversation was about whether or not Chanukah was the holiday with the "spinny candles" or the "matzoh or whatever". They left, I suppose properly broken up, and were replaced with another couple that might be the loudest two people I've come across lately. Braying, people. This woman is braying.

Anyway.

Speaking of holidays-- what are you fine people doing for Thanksgiving? I'm doing the usual. Community kitchen with my peeps. Cook, serve, clean-up and, can I tell you, I wouldn't have it any other way. I love hearing about unusual holiday traditions that people come up with and how they came up with them or evolved them or whatnot. Point being, let's hear it. What do youse do for Thanksgiving?

Let's see, what else is the haps today? I suppose that's it for today. There was this very weird fog over Chicago all day that smelled like ocean and felt like a sauna. The morning was warm, then it chilled as the day went on. So weird. Anyway, I kept my head down and worked all day on odds and ends and am super happy tonight about that.

My Jewcy post is up today, of course. Todays' topic is about an organization that addresses domestic violence in Jewish homes, particularly addressing young girls to educate them about financial independence from their partners, recognizing dynamics of healthy/unhealthy relationships and the like. Good organization. Anyway, I wrote a little round up about it.

Speaking of writing-- thank all of you who wrote such kind emails to me about the tiny sneak preview of my second novel. Very nice of you and, hello I am human, so positive feedback certainly gives me a lift.

I've got to get out of this cafe. Even earbuds full of Beethoven can't tune out this crazy donkey laugh this woman has going on next to me. HUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKKHAHAHAHAHA Daaaaaavid, you're so funnnnnnyyyyyyyy! HHUUUUNNNNKKKK! Think Fran Drescher meets, well, yeah, a donkey. Gahhhd.

(Local bands, I give you full permission to use "earbuds full of Beethoven" as you see fit.)

"SING YOUR LIFE"

Hello, dears. How was your day? Oh? Sorry to hear that. Mine? Oh, well, thanks for asking. Well, you know. Odds and ends. This and that. Oh, sure, I'd love a glass. That's nice of you. Thanks.

That was weird. Sorry.

I've managed a lot of weird injuries in my life (big scar on my leg from an iron burn, foot arch pinned to a curb by a bicycle pedal, busted lip from a snowball fight, a piece of tile cut my ear, a doorbell cut my head, accidentally hit in the bad knee with a crowbar, broken molar from plain chocolate ice cream, etc.) and gotten banged up rather nicely in a big car accident, and I like to build and play with my powertools, and I've snowboarded and wiped out on my face, and I run and I've wiped out and slid across an intersection on my belly, but not until today have I ever cut an elbow open and it was weird. Maybe the weirdest cut I've ever had. I banged it on a heavy metal banister (stupid industrial decor!) corner and the thing just busted right open and man, oh man, it was gross and I kept wiping blood all over the place. And you guys know how I feel about blood.

So, guess what you get to read in about ten days? A preview of my new novel! Good ol' Rob McEvily over at Six Sentences was kind enough to agree to run six sentences from the first chapter. I'm excited to show all of youse. I hope you like it. It's very different form Three Fallen Women.

Let's see, what on earth else? Things are going swimmingly over at Jewcy, where I moved from guest to resident, which is very exciting. Five days a week, folks, get your hippie-Jewy freak-on with yours truly. Like today, par example, I wrote a little post about Jewish Book Month and the Celebration of Jewish Books, the (excuse me for saying so) alarmingly large book festival descending upon Los Angeles next week. No love for the indies, but when the broham decided to make a book fest, he wanted it big and he did it so good for him.

Does someone want o let me use their film equipment? I think I could make a pretty film. Motels, cigarettes, disheveledness, fuckedupedness, danger, nighttime, running, shitty cars, a roadtrip. It'd be great!

"GOLDEN LIGHTS, DISPLAYING YOUR NAME"

If you happen to be strolling around the city tomorrow (Thursday), grab yourself a copy of that Halloween issue of New City and see how I do blurb-writing about Judith Geichman's art at Alfedena Gallery.

And, while you're out, stroll yourself into The Fixx to the monthly reading hosted by yours truly at 7:30 and say hello. Thanks!

"ASK ME, UH-HO-HO, ASK ME"

You know what we're overdue in doing? An installation of Guthmantics! And do you know who I rounded up for you today? Do you? Hmmm? You are going to flip! I got The Ms. Laurel Snyder! (Ohhhhs! Ahhhhs!) Not only is she an all-around wonderful human being, but she's also a very talented and dedicated writer. Laurel Snyder is a Baltimore native, a graduate of the Iowa Writers' Workshop, a former Michener-Engle Fellow, a commentator for NPR's All Things Considered, the editor of Half/Life: Jew-ish tales from Interfaith Homes (Soft Skull Press, 2006), and the author of Up and Down the Scratchy Mountains (Random House, 2008), Inside the Slidy Diner (Tricycle Press, 2008), (Any Which Wall, Random House, 2009), Daphne & Jim (Burnside Review Press, 2006), and The Myth of the Simple Machines (No Tell Books, 2007). She is also a hyperactive, type-A person, (in case you couldn't tell). She lives in Atlanta with her ridiculously cute sons, Mose and Lewis, and their papa.

Guth: Tell us what you write, what you have written and how you do it?

Snyder: Oy. I write EVERYTHING. Which is kind of my big problem in life. I'm interested in everything, but I'm also addicted to order, so I'm forever trying to smoosh everything into everything else, in hopes things will begin to make sense. Hence the cover of my book of poems was done by the illustrator of my picture book. And so on... I want things to make sense.

(Guth here-- Um, hi can you see why this woman and I get along so well??)

So yeah, I write poems, and have a chapbook out from Burnside Review Press, as well as this new book with No Tell Books. I write blogs, several of them. I write religion essays and rants. I write commentaries for NPR. And most of all lately, I write weird books for kids. The first one, Up and Down the Scratchy Mountains, will be out next year from Random House.

I really don't have any specific writing rituals-- I'm kind of the anti-Guth in this way (though in all other things I emulate you, dear one). I have two kids under two, and so I write whenever there's a quiet moment, wherever I happen to be. I have a tape recorder in my glove box and a little notebook in my diaper bag. I work in the grocery store parking lot if the kids fall asleep in the car.

Often I rant aimlessly on my blog (because it's quick), and that turns into an essay later. With poems, I sit down and work in fits and starts, and can do it in short stints, but that requires silence and real concentration. And with the kiddie-novels, I work on my laptop, late at night when the house sleeps, or in a coffee shop, while my toddler is in "school" and the little one wiggles on the couch beside me. With long prose I need at least two hours of time to get anything going.

For all but poetry, I like backgound noise, and often leave the TV on when I work. It's always funny when my husband comes in and asks, "Are you watching this?" and it turns out I'm tuned to the Jesus channel, or the View, or Rock of Love (okay, I admit it, I actually watch that one). Usually, I require coffee. Late at night I like to write while I drink. It sounds flaky, but it can lead to interesting things, though also heavy editing.

Guthieroo: Not flaky at all! The booze-n-write is awesome. Ha! I was so hooked on Rock of Love, too! You know what they say: "Ain't no booty like a southside booty"... er, bleh, I mean. Anyway. What grand things are next for you? What would you, we're talking dream gigs and adventures here, love to be next for you?

Snyder: Next for me is a new book of poems called Once Upon, about the tedious and wonderfully insane experience of having kids (I know, I know, it's awful, but I can't help it). And I'm also currently editing a new kid-novel, Any Which Wall. About four children in Iowa and their magical wall, which takes them to like, Pompeii and Camelot (of course-- everyone goes to Camelot). I'm also about to launch an awesome new website, Badly In Love.

What would I like to be next? Oh jeeze, nobody ever admits that stuff, do they?

But if I'm really dreaming? Like, lotto dreaming?

I'd like a major award of course, maybe a National Book Award for a novel, or a Caldecott for my picture book. Of course I'd like a movie option, because that would pay for babysitting. Anyone out there want to make a movie about a snarky milkmaid and her pet prairie dog? I'd looooove if Tim Burton wanted to turn my picture book, Inside the Slidy Diner, into a movie. That'd be the BEST!

I'd also like to write poems that straddle the divide between poets and non-poets. I'd like to write poems that poets can appreciate, but that are readable for non-poets. But sometimes that seems just as far away as a Pulitzer. Sigh...

AG: What Smiths or Morrissey song or lyric sums it up for you right now?

Snyder: Hmmm... it sounds obnoxious to say this, but "Golden Lights". I mean, I never ever expected to have multiple books out at once, and it feels like I'm the luckiest person in the universe. But only the title. Because I really hope I haven't changed. I don't think I have. Have I? I mean, I return all my calls, and I don't even have a brand new jacket...

Guthieroo again. See there? Isn't she great? Yes she is. Now, folks, you know the drill by now, right? After you've read all of her work, (and I mean all of it, because it all all very, very good and so what if you don't have kids? Children's books are good for your soul, just ask me about Patricia Combs' Dorrie series sometime) go over and add her to your LibraryThing and Shelfari and GoodReads collections. Go on, go on. Then, be a mensch and buy a copy or two or ten for your friends and lovers and BFFs and the next time you hear the fabulous Laurel Snyder is reading near you, go show some love.

Want to be a featured author/writer type for Guthmantics? Well, just send an email to me at amy@guthagogo.com and I'll tell you everything you need to know.

"SING YOUR LIFE...?"

I woke up with that song from that Gilda Radner sketch Jewess Jeans in my head...

Designer nails and a designer no-ose!
She's an American Princess and a Disco Queen!
She's the Jewess in Jewess Je-eeeaaans! The Jewess in Jewess Je-eeeaaaans!

So, today is off to a funny start. I am going from thing to thing to thing today. Busy, busy, B-U-S-Y, bizzay.

But, you know the drill:

Click for free.
Click to give. (Final week!)
Click to buy nail polish called pink ribbon and pink toothpaste to clean your filthy-ass mouth.

"THEN I'LL TELL YOU THE STORY OF MY LIFE"

Hello, hello! How is everyone? I'm doing really well, myself. Clearing out some stuff on Freecycle and Craigslist. Love it. So liberating to unburden yourself of your tzotch, whether you're selling it off or giving it away. Bliss either way.

My BoSox (default team after the cubs) are making my heart hurt. (Ohh, wait, as soon as I wrote that, they got 2 runs. Okay, uh, THE BOSOX ARE MAKING MY HEART HURT!) I'm working on an article about Peru, and a review for New City Chicago. Greenpeace sayeth the iPhone is a toxic mess. That's about all I know, tonight. I think I might pull an old lady and go to bed early. I'm so tired. Maybe bring a book and a cup of tea. Ah, now that sounds really great.

So, youse know the drill by now...

Click to donate mammography for free. See how easy I make things for you? Also, don't forget that you can make The Breast Cancer Site your homepage (and click through to their other sponsor-funded sites), and you can sign up to receive email reminds to click-- the link lands in your inbox every morning so you can click every day, all year. So easy to be so menschy. Today's buy to support breast cancer comes courtesy of Ma Sparkypoo-- QVC is doing a fab shoe du jour thing and donating to these cancer organizations. (Thanks for the tip, Ma Sparkypoo.)

Oh, and before I forget-- we only need $910 more to reach the $2,500 goal for the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer event that takes place this Sunday, October 21st. How exciting to see it all so near! if you are waiting to donate-- now is the time with only days to go!

"THEN I'LL TELL YOU"

My favorite blog today is Ice Cream People: A Survey of Ice Cream Entities. Hilar!

Anyway, so today in October's Pinkyroo, check this out. It's a yearly mammogram reminder. You fill out the info, then you get an email once a year to remind you to get screened. Ba-da-bing! Easy peasy.

I'm caught up on my work today, or I will be in by tomorrow. Then, Ill be ready to dig up some more projects and such. I think that's all I know for now.

(Chicagoans: Are you so excited for the chilly weather?)

"AND IF YOU HAVE FIVE SECONDS TO SPARE"

Word up, party people. Er, something. The whirlwind of work is underway this week and it is awesome. It's one of those weeks that I can already tell that on Friday afternoon, I'll feel good and productive and ready to chill. But, I'm not too busy to say hello to all youse in Blogsylvania.

Let's see, what can I tell yas? I almost fell down a flight of stairs because someone put/dropped a granny smith on the stairs at the train station, I spent a little time downtown here and there, it's finally cooling off and feeling like actual autumn (not, say, Carribbean autumn), I sold my old laptop (from two laptops ago), you know, odds and ends. Now I'm settling in to do some work on another project that has a super-fast deadline about two and a half weeks away.

There I was fretting so much about not having enough freelance work, then I went out and really hustled and hustled and I'm not going to pursue any new work this week so I can stay on top of things. I usually keep a good balance of pursuing while completing, but the later part of summer was a little slow for my inbox. Anyway, glad it's full again.

But, before I dash back to my work, here is your daily scoop for October's Breast Cancer Awareness Month...

But thank you to those of you who gave yesterday! I only need to raise $1,100 more to reach my final fundraising goal of $2,500. Please consider donating even a few dollars if you can. Every little bit counts. And, while you're clicking, head over to The Brest Cancer Site and click for free to arrange for free mammography for women in need, and to get your pink on, hit JB and Me, where all month they're giving you a discount and Komen a donation, and Philosophy's Shower for the Cure benefts the Women's Cancer Research Center.. and smells really pretty, too. And, here's a good page we should all bookmark and check back to next summer for a breast cancer benefit river rafting trip. How cool! (And, since we're going here and doing this all month long, check out this article about going pink carefully and doing your homework. Very important.)

"I FORCED YOU TO A ZONE, ER, ZINE"

So, my writerly and artful friends, a fine zine I know, The Complete Meal, has issued a call for submissions for issue #12 which will deal specifically with comic books and comic artists. The broham honcho writes:

"We at The Complete Meal are looking for an abundance of comics (drawn by you!) as well as weird drawings, sketches, doodlings, noodlings, scribblings, etc. I'm also looking for essays, articles, critiques, thoughts, theories and concepts from you on comic books and artists themselves. The deadline for Issue #12 is Saturday, November 24, 2007."

So, getyourshittogether and submit to the broham right here. No pay, which is unforch, but he's not too big of an asshole, so there's that.

Today was swell. Busy, hustlin' around trying to make stuff work. Type, type, type.

"AS THE FLAMES ROSE"

I wish I was teaching a writing class. Short fiction. Novel. Poetry. Sketch comedy. I would dig that so much.

I am going through my email inbox today. All those nagging things, fun things, whatevs, that I need to follow-up with, today is the day.

Tomorrow, though, is The Fixx Reading Series and this month we have the pleasure of meeting the editorial honchos behind Ninth Letter and Hobart, sogityerbuttsinseats!

"I WAS DETAINED"

Hidey ho. Looks like I'm doing a little article about Peru for a travel publication, got a bite on another idea I had for a small series of pieces, so I'm putting that proposal together, yadda yadda.

Ohh, before I forget, see some adventures in Omaha here, here, here and especially here, ha ha, courtesy Jami Attenberg.

Anyway. Now, I'm going to hop a train and go to Chinatown and buy a tiny block of tamarind paste and enjoy the lovely weather. (Snow will be here before we know it.) Sure, I can probably get tamarind at the supermarket around the corner, but it's a nice day for a train ride, and I kind of like buying little bits of things from ethnic grocers. Plus, I'm up for a little adventure.

I have this and this on Craigslist if any of youse are interested. More to follow. I'm doing a major toss-out campaign and it is lovely.

"DISPLAYING YOUR NAME"

I did the inaugural reading of The Nod last night and had a blast. We all read various odds and ends from our blogs, laughed very hard and it was, all in all, a lovely night. Co-creator Joe Janes blogged the whole scoop here (and was awesome enough to plug The Fixx Reading next week!) and go show some love to the other bloggers who participated (I loved them all): Moments of Coherency, I'm So Tired read in behalf of Madge's Musings (which are hilar-- listen to the phone clips if you are able on your interwebs viewing machine), The Life and Times of Big Calabaza, Lindsay Lives Here, Ocelopotamus, Liberty Valance, Clever Title by Nat Topping, and Don's Angry White Guy In Chicago (oh did I ever love his smoking rant).

Love the blogger meet-ups.

Today, I have much to do, as since I'm off booktour for about the next five months-ish, I'm looking to generate some new gigs and make some new contacts and such.