"A RUSH AND A PUSH AND THE LAND IS OURS"

(Hat tip to Leah for sending this one along.)

"YOU JUST HAVEN'T EARNED IT YET, BABY"

Hi all. I'm working from a cafe tonight near my apartment. A couple was in here before breaking up, which I found weird. I was glad to have my earbuds with me rather than hear their strange, dramatic final moments. There was a break in their conversation, well, a lull that had a strange moment in it but then lulled again and went back to the breaking up. But, the lull conversation was about whether or not Chanukah was the holiday with the "spinny candles" or the "matzoh or whatever". They left, I suppose properly broken up, and were replaced with another couple that might be the loudest two people I've come across lately. Braying, people. This woman is braying.

Anyway.

Speaking of holidays-- what are you fine people doing for Thanksgiving? I'm doing the usual. Community kitchen with my peeps. Cook, serve, clean-up and, can I tell you, I wouldn't have it any other way. I love hearing about unusual holiday traditions that people come up with and how they came up with them or evolved them or whatnot. Point being, let's hear it. What do youse do for Thanksgiving?

Let's see, what else is the haps today? I suppose that's it for today. There was this very weird fog over Chicago all day that smelled like ocean and felt like a sauna. The morning was warm, then it chilled as the day went on. So weird. Anyway, I kept my head down and worked all day on odds and ends and am super happy tonight about that.

My Jewcy post is up today, of course. Todays' topic is about an organization that addresses domestic violence in Jewish homes, particularly addressing young girls to educate them about financial independence from their partners, recognizing dynamics of healthy/unhealthy relationships and the like. Good organization. Anyway, I wrote a little round up about it.

Speaking of writing-- thank all of you who wrote such kind emails to me about the tiny sneak preview of my second novel. Very nice of you and, hello I am human, so positive feedback certainly gives me a lift.

I've got to get out of this cafe. Even earbuds full of Beethoven can't tune out this crazy donkey laugh this woman has going on next to me. HUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKKHAHAHAHAHA Daaaaaavid, you're so funnnnnnyyyyyyyy! HHUUUUNNNNKKKK! Think Fran Drescher meets, well, yeah, a donkey. Gahhhd.

(Local bands, I give you full permission to use "earbuds full of Beethoven" as you see fit.)

"GOLDEN LIGHTS: 8"

It took me forever to get this post up. Mainly because I had an action-packed day, but also because, well, as you'll soon read, I had an awful lot of ground to cover.

Welcome to the eighth and final night of my Chanukah Blog Tour! What a fun time this has all been. I've felt such a good warm-fuzzies sense of community this week. Haven't all of the bloggers done such a great job? I think so, too. We'll review all of our bloggers in a minute, but first, let's meet tonight's eight.

First up, we have Skirmish of Wit, who I've deemed "honorary tribe" this week because she whipped my ass in a fierce dreidel match last year. As she mentions in her post. Man, she really delivered the kosher-frum smackdown. Big time. She's a super lady, too, and she's such a good friend that most of my better adventures in recent years have all been with her. You know, come to think of it, she's no fair-weather friend, she's been my friend through all sorts of stuff. She's that cool. And, boy, she sure does know her Shakespeare! Look at her go! (If you really want to get in her good graces, scour the web for obscure U2 clips, tidbits, mp3s etc. The more obscure the better. She loves U2 like I love Morrissey. That's really serious.)

Representing our second candle, author of Princess of Division Street, the one and only, charming, kind and, ahem, pretty badass, Elaine Soloway. What could I possibly say to introduce her? The name says it all. Click on and prepare to love and adore her. (And, if you have no already done so, look how super-easy I've made it for you to buy her wonderful book!)

And, run, do not walk, over and meet friend to all, Yo Yenta a super sharp lady who appreciates things like fair-trade coffee, the latke-hammentaschen debate I am so fond of attending and, you know, she's got to be pretty cool because, um, she totally invited me for latkes! And, I have this thing where I tend to trust people with cool glasses more often than not. So, there's that. Anyway, she's a new BFF, too.

Then, head on over to visit a very good friend and BFF (Dude, why can I not stop saying BFF this year?) of yours truly, the unforgettable dame with moxie to spare, Katie Schwartz. Seriosuly, she's only days away from huge literary celebrity and you're all going to get to say you knew her when.... so there. Read this post! She is a riot. Goyim dreidel twister? Toooootally. And, holy shit, I wil always now refer to sufganyiot as "the dreamiest fat pellets"... done and done.

Our next candle tonight is the mysterious Subservient Worker, who has enough dirt on me to ruin my life for years (wink). And, would you look at that? She is totally on my same wavelength about the curry latkes! Woot!

Keep the applause going now for our new friend Kaye, who is getting ready to honor us all by joining the tribe. She's a little busy (doing a lot of fabulous stuff) so she's going to hold us in suspense for a bit longer. But, she hasn't forgotten about us at all and will post in just a bit. So keep checking back. Her post is going to be really, really cool. How do I know that? Duh, because she is really cool.

Next, let's all say hi to my new friend Al Sensu. Yes, that Al Sensu, who yesterday prioritized writing this post, the one linked to above in between lighting Chanukah candles and jerking off. So, with priorities like that, of course he's welcome here! Anway, check out his fabulously filthy post. Not, say, for the faint of heart. But I know you're tough and freaky, so check it out.

And last but never least, go see SeeWorthy. Honey lateks? Why the heck didn't I ever think of that? I'm totally trying that. And, get ready for an "awww" moment when you see the "I (heart) my partner" response. So sweet.

Now, let's review all of our bloggers!

Wait, let's review backwards, since we just did our eight, our full chanukiot, yes? Yes.



Last night, Kosher Soul Gourmet hooked us on the term "hot naked peeps", Alana Perlin introduced us to blueberry syrup latkes, Danny of Jew Eat Yet? graced our presense with his fancy blog with pictures, Another Meshugganah Mommy, who we know know prefers stiletto heels and Jack Daniels to slippers and herbal tea, introduced us to the sweet potato-red pepper latke, Shabbat & The City jumped onto the strip-dreidel bandwagon, Cabeza de R.E. reminded us what a macho manly man he is AND we got a surprise visit from Tamarika as she dished Isrealia for us. What a fun night!

The sixth night was super swell with Doc from Everyone Needs Therapy as she went above and beyond for not just one blogger (me) but two bloggers, as she also posted holiday songs for Citizen of The Month. That night, we also met Nani (she won me over completely with her Nutella sufganyiot idea) and Jewbiquitous (Naked. Frum. Dreidel.)... and we met Yaley (Yaleite? Yaleyon?) Grichu with her sassy square plates and Anthropologist For Corporate America, who I just know you gave generously to for her Team In Training fundraising efforts. And, who could forget Minor Fast Days and his musings on his beloved wife and fiesta latkes.

On night five, we met Jack Be Nimble and I decided on the spot that I would, for one day just to say I did it, marry him and be his tenth wife. Next, True Ancestor wished me Borat-style "great success" and we chated about olive oil used to occupy children in public. Then, we talked stylin' Bubbies with Just Another SWJF and the "penultimate" Israeli salad recipe with The Shalvster, and finished with Fake Jew from Not Chosen, Just Posin' as he considered the meme and whether or not be could bear to speak to Madonna for any length of time.

Four! More! Uh... bloggers! On the fourth night, we first chatted with the lovely and wonderful Tamara Eden about her Dad's latke recipe and quite literally, the mixing of dreidels. Then, we met "one dope boy and a rental car" from Jews Like Bagels and I promised him I wouldn't tell his Ma what he likes to top his latkes with. Then, we (okay, I) gave Eric from Earth Observation a big "right on" for his thoughts on Chanukah visibilty and snarked it up with Mad Words, as she explained to us how to play Samuel L. Jackson-style dreidel.

Three did prove to be a lucky number this week! We met the clever and quadralingual (Hebrew, English, Chinese and Spanish) Orieyenta as she taught us how to add an Asian flair to both latkes and dreidels. Then we met the rainbow suspender wearin', PhD gettin', second most Henrietta Szold authoritatin' Rational Leftist and the lovely author of Half Life (which you bought..?) and Daphne & Jim (and lots of other greatness you will continue to purchase), Laurel Snyder.

On night number two, TikkunGer had me at "Battlestar Galactica", as Suburban Kvetch made me spit Pelligrino with the lines, " I have a lot of resentment towards hamantaschen for this very reason" and "What does one cook in honor of a resurrection? An Easter ham?"... gold, I tell you, gold.

And, all of this kicked into high gear on the very first night with a post by Accidentally Jewish Leah (as she casually mentions playing dreidel with a Twister mat and olive oil), who, I must tell you, none of this would have come together without. Leah, thank you. This was awesome.

L'chaim! Chanukah 5767! Chag Sameach to all of these outstanding bloggers and to all of you. I think we should all do this again next year.

Happy Holidays, however you celebrate them, and whichever ones you celebrate.

Don't freeze your butts off... or get so drunk you just fall down.

"GOLDEN LIGHTS, DISPLAYING YOUR NAME"

A friend of mine asked me what the hell kind of meme could I possibly be doing that exempts me from answering the questions myself? Then a regular reader commented. Then three emails came in. Finally, last night, a friend sent me a text, assuring me she was curious about my answers. Fair enough. My people have spoken.

Here goes...



1. Quick! You must turn a plate of latkes into an upscale gourmet delight (as if they aren’t already?). What would you add to them to dress them up, flavor and/or garnish them?

I'm really a latke purist. I using good yukon gold potatoes, shredding the little bastards, wringing the shreds out in a hand towel before I add any of the other ingredients (that's key) and I like using the best olive oil to fry them in and serving them with only sourcream and apple sauce. I made curry cream sauce for them last year that were damn good. And, once I was given a fancy latke on a bed of arugula and balsamic with a poached quail egg on top. That was pretty great. But, let's say I was going to Pimp My Latke. Let's just say. I would add a variety of minced wild mushrooms and shallots to the batter, then serve with sage sour cream and something like port-poached diced apples. That'd be pretty good I think.

I'm sure I have told you guys, by the way, about my "Tribe Sandwich", no? It's my favorite sandiwich ever and always take them with me when i travel because they make me so happy. They are made thusly: toast a little pumpernickel bread, add mayo, mustard, applesauce, soy pepperjack cheese, tofurkey and latkes. Sounds like a big disaster but I can assure absolute deliciousness.

2. What is the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard anyone say about Chanukah?

It's a toss-up... (a) "Merry.. um, how do you say it in Jewish?" and (b) back in the day when I was working in retail, a couple came into the store and asked another associate if we carried "menorahs or dreidels or any other Chanukah stuff". The associate turned and shouted across the store to the manager, "We don't got no Jewish stuff, huh?" I wanted to hide behind my crappy plastic nametag. I was mortified, but grabbed them and dragged them to the Judaica. Oh and (c) "So, wait, you guys don't celebrate Christmas at Jewish church? Weird. I'd kill myself if I didn't have Christmas."

3. What’s the best possible use for olive oil?

I rub a little on my nails and cuticles.. voila! Instant manicure. Or, rub a little on the feet, put on thick socks and go to bed. No raggedy-ass hands or rough heels here. But, dipping sourdough bread into good olive oil is pretty great, too. Uh, not the same oil I put on my hands and feet. That's be more than a little bit freaky. Though, I guess you could just dip your bread and let it get all over your hands and kill two of three birds with one stone. Eh, yeah. Multitasking is cool.

4. Settle it once and for all. Latkes or hammentaschen? Which to you prefer? What about pitting the winner of that contest against sufganiyot?

Sufganyiot are better than hammentaschen. But, latkes are better than sufganyiot. Savory trumps sweet in my world.

5. What’s the best way to mix up a game of dreidel?

At the little soiree at my place back on the first night, we kicked it seventh grade style and turned it into a game of truth or dare. I did a tap dance, which was a riot. But, I think Mad Words had he best idea of shouting expletives after each spin like, "Shin, beyotch!"

6. My novel, Three Fallen Women, shockingly enough, is about the lives of three women. Which three women would you like to have over this year for latkes and why?

Hmm. Good question, Amy-self. I'm glad you asked. Let's see. Let's say I could get anyone, from any time. Betty Friedan? Gertrude Stein? Erica Jong? Susan Sontag? Wow, there are a lot of righteous Heebettes to pick from. You know, I think life is serious enough. Let's keep this one light and silly. Gilda Radner for sure. Sarah Silverman. My friend Sandy. We'd go nuts. It'd be a riot.

7. Other than Three Fallen Women (har har), what book do you think would make a great Chanukah gift this year? What book would you like to receive as a gift this year?

My second book? Okay, that was shameless. Forget it. Actually, I just saw this book called Subversive Crosstitch and was howling! I'd would sew these hilarious things for all of you. Who doesn't need a wall-hanging with pretty flowers and the words "you suck" gingerly stitched across it? I pick that one. Wow, put that in a gift bag with (another one of my BFFs) Jenny Hart's Sublime Stitching and you'd have one badass crafty little gift on your hands. (That I would gladly accept. Or steal from you when you weren't looking. Whatever it takes.)

8. What bloggers didn’t participate in Chanukah Blog Tour 5767 and you think should have?

Well, next year, I'm going to try to hunt you all down again and do this all over. But, some are bound to have issued restraining orders against me by then. Some are bound to move away, make aliyah, decide I'm just not that cool and steer clear, get really famous and decide to forget me. Some of you will be busy doing very exciting things, running from the law, getting divorced, getting hitched, etc..... point being, next year, some of you are bound to be absent. so, I'll wishfully tag Bex Schwartz. Sarah Silverman. That Black Lesbian Jew. Maybe a couple of dirty old ladies. Maybe a couple of dirty old men. We'll just have to wait and see. That's the thing with this tag on this meme, it's a little different. But, here we are on the final countdown of Chanukah and if you weren't posting but wanted to, go for it. Anytime today, post away. Or, heck, why no tomorrow, too? You have until sundown on Saturday to post your little heart out.

I'll be back later today with the final eight candles (you guys are in for a rare treat!) and whoever else I hear about posting, also. We'll just have to wait and see.

(By the by, did anyone see this? Some schmuck is pretending to be Jewish now to... pick up chicks? What is this? Is this a thing? Are some dudes doing this? Haha. I just have this vision of fratboys getting all Woody Allen'd up o get ladies... oh man.)

"GOLDEN LIGHTS: 7"

Welcome to the seventh night of my Chanukah Blog Tour! What a fun time this has all been. Haven't all of the bloggers done such a great job? I think so, too.

Last night, we met six super bloggers and tonight our super seven will keep the ball rolling, er, dreidel spinning...

But, let me warn you. Tonight is a little funky. You'll see why in a minute.

First, we have the honor of meeting a favorite of mine, the one and only Yolanda Shoshana, the Kosher Soul Gournet a she settles in and dishes about Oprah, Martha, Nicole Richie and bestows upon us the phrase, "What happens with the dreidel stays with the dreidel"... um, and if you check out the rest of her blog, she gives out recipes. I'm just saying. Do yourself a favor. Use them.

Second, we have Alana Perlin as she spills my (I thought) well-kept secret for pretty nails, (um, works against split ends, too!) and, you know, I'm willing to actually give her blueberry-syrup-latke-pyramid idea a try. Big smiles for using the sentence, "points for getting that reference" after mentioning the name of my blog.

Next up, I am honored to welcome here a blogger I've quietly enjoyed reading for a good while and who I am so glad to have gotten to know a bit better during this project (so far, playing Six Degrees of Each Other is a real hoot!)... everyone welcome Danny Miller of Jew Eat Yet?. Wow! Look at that fancy post! Woot! Woot! I love it!

For candle numbe four, give it up (and get slippers and a nice cup of tea) for Another Meshugganah Mommy and let's see about her red pepper and sweet potato latkes, and, um, get ready to smack yourself in the forehead when she details her adventures with stupid things people say about Chanukah.

Next up, we have Seth Chalmer who, sadly switched over to the new verion of blogger that is proving to be nightmarish on almost all accounts, and hit a bit of a snag posting, but he is with us now! His post is up!

Shabbat And The City is our next candle, and, although at the time I originally put this post up I said, "She's not posted yet, either. But, look at her blog, she is really busy finding her place in Jewish Los Angeles as a soon-to-be-member-of-the-tribe, so we'll cut her some slack. Los Angeles is big. There's a lot to see. I can dig it." Little did I know that at that very moment she was hard at work on her post (Obviously! Look at what a great post she wrote!) but now, she has finished and it is super! (I like this blog a lot. It's interesting reading... )

And, our (officially) final candle tonight, is on the Cabeza de R.E. and, well, earlier, I blogged: "She hasn't posted yet, either. But, look at her blog! She likes Bjork and I like Bjork, so I can only assume she's listening to Bjork and is totally caught up doing that. Which is totally reasonable. Um, he posted shortly thereafter. Why did I get it in my head that he was a she? Not the profile pic. Not the man purse. Must be the first name? Maybe. As a woman with dude friends named both Meredith and Jody, I should have known better than to assume and I sincerely apologize. If it makes anyone feel any better, I once did a reading a cool trans event, so I put little stock in gender identification titles anyway. (Wow, that was a lot of work just to get him to admit he carries a man purse.)

But, wait-- what is this? Look! An eighth blogger posted the meme who I don't know! Look, everyone! It's Tamarika dishing about Israelia! Look at that! Now that is a Chanukah miracle in blog terms. That's what I'm talkin' about!

Wow, we have an extra candle to make our Chanukah lights shine extra bright. Now that is just plain cool.

Happy Chanukah and see everyone back here tomorrow night to meet our full chanukiot of bloggers and revisit all the many posts in the Chanukah Blog Tour.

"WHATEVER HAPPENS"

Well, it has been pretty Chanukah centric around here. I'm waiting for all of my bloggers to post for tonight's Chanuah Blog Tour and while waiting, I found this! My dearest Katie Schwartz has tagged me and who am I to ever turn her down for a meme? No way. Not me. Never.

Here goes. This one is asking for the contents of my desk. I have only one desk, since I work in my apartment. It's older and smaller than I'd like, but the perfect one hasn't found me yet. I got the chair from Katherine when she left for Mongolia. She warned me that it would piss me off, which it doesn't but it does make my back hurt sometimes even though it looks like a really swank office chair. I have a bamboo cup with "courage" written on it in Chinese (I'm told. It could say "jackass" and I wouldn't know.) filled with colored pencils, my good pens, good heavy scissors, a coaster that says "drink" across it, and a couple of chopsticks, in case my hair starts bugging me and needs to get swept back. I have a funky black lamp with an aqua shade, my black phone, a couple of checks I need to take to the bank, a little light blueish blotter thing to take the heat off the MacBook, the MacBook, my tan cherry blossom mug of green tea, a boxing Rabbi puppet for inspiration, usually my cat sleeps on my lap when I'm woking, other times, he flops his ass down on the side of my laptop and stars purrrrrring... and in the drawer... a pink highlighter, page flags, post-its, ink refills, bills to be paid, an xacto knife, a nail file, and a business card a stranger handed to me, presumably without realizing a number was jotted on the back. I somehow feel like the love of his life wrote her number on his card and he absent-mindedly handed it to me. I just haven't decided how to get the number back to him yet.

In other news, one of the two guys named Al that I know posted his answers to this meme, too. I stole this off of his blog. If this is a prioritized list, I am even more honored. Just below Jewish observance, just above masturbation. Story of my life.

"GOLDEN LIGHTS: 6"

Welcome to the sixth, holy cow, the sixth night of my Chanukah Blog Tour! Fun, right? Making new friends? Coming by for latkes? Getting lotsa gelt? Good! Today has been a positively super day all around. The weather is craptastic, but I am on cloud nine, I must admit.

Last night our five bloggers were so wonderful to spin our (intellectual) dreidels for us and tonight we get to meet....

Well let's just meet them, shall we?

First up, today we have Therapy Doc from Everyone Needs Therapy (I totally agree) as she covers a lot of intelligent, witty, thoughtful, thought-expanding ground going above and beyond for not just one blogger (me) but two bloggers, as she posts holidays songs for Citizen of The Month. Go Doc!

Next, let's go read what our friend over at Minor Fast Days for a great-sounding feista latke, an "awwww" moment about his wife, and, shockingly, as he proves to bo the only blogger in the mix thus far to pick hammentaschen over latkes and sufganyiot.

Then, head on over to Anthropologist For Corporate America and read her take on dreidel for bong hits, and she can confirm the interesting little bit of trivia she and I discovered after a little blog chat-- that her daughter and I were born in the same hospital. Small world. Decades, hello, decades apart. But, before you do any of that, take a minute and help her out with something. Once upon a time, I ran a marathon with Team In Training to raise money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, and she is passing the hat now, as she is trainign with them, too. So, you can take just one second and donate to her fundraising efforts by clicking right here. Good.

Next up, Grichu tells us that she, too, prefers hammentaschen over latkes and sufganyiot and that she can dress up latkes like mad on her very fancy square plates. (You guys are all killing me, every single night, with all of this potato dress-up deliciousness.)

Keep the momentum going now for Jewbiquitous, or Team Jewbiquitous as I've taken to calling them, as they give up the goods and call me out on my topless olive oil wrestling (er, wait, I never did that, nevermind), and draw to mind the image of Gold Meir getting down and digging one's groove.

And, last but not least at all, give it up for Nani and read all about one of my new favorite ideas (Nutella plus sufganyiot equals awesomeness), and tugs at my anal-retentive heartstrings by the mere mention of a book about cleaning. Sigh.

Chhhhhappy Chanukah, folks, see everyone back here tomorrow night to meet our bloggers of night seven!

"GOLDEN LIGHTS: 5"

Welcome to the fifth round of my Chanukah Blog Tour! Can you believe we've already made friends with ten bloggers? Better yet, can you believe we are still going to make friends with twenty-six more bloggers? So. Much. Fun. Anyhoot.

Last night Earth Observation, Jews Like Bagels, Tamara Eden and Madeline In The Mirror shook their gelt for us, and now... (drumroll)... let's meet the next five.

First, we have Jack Be Nimble with his rather excellent ideas on tequilla dreidel and tabasco latkes. I just decided that I'd like to be his tenth wife. (Kidding. I'm a kidder. Sort of. Okay, maybe for like a day, just to say I was someone's tenth wife. Jack?)

Next up, we have Want Some Cheese With That Whine as she reveals what a cooking fool she is and tells us about her super-stylin' bubbie.

Then, head on over and see Fake Jew at Not Chosen, Just Posin' as he considers the meme and wonders if he could bear to speak to Madonna long enough to "swap tricks of the fake Jew trade"... (Yo, FakeJew, if you can keep it veg, you're welcome to cook for me anytime. Wowzers, Cookie McChefsalot.)

Next, we meet the one and only True Ancestor as he ponders sweet potato latkes (You guys are killing me today with all of this crazy-good cooking!), olive oil and water potions to occupy children in restaurants and wishes me "great success", Borat-style.

And, last but not least at all, The Shalvster closes for us with his "Penultimate" Israeli Salad recipe. Just using the word "penultimate" is good work by me, but in connection to Israeli salad, well, that's just a great idea. (I am fighting the urge to say, "The Shalvster. Makin' copies. Shalvarooney. Shalvoo Shalvah. Shalv-lalv-a-ding-dong."... but acknowledge Rob Schneider beat the joke to death more than a decade ago.)

Happy Chanukah and see everyone back here tomorrow night to meet our bloggers of night SIX. (Oh, and if you are overcome with grief because you aren't participating in tis spiffy little Chanukah Blog Tour, fret not! Drop me an email at amy@guthagogo.com. I still have slots for three lucky bloggers to rock the house on Friday.)

"FOUND FOUND FOUND"

My Chanukah Bloggers of round five are putting the final touches on their posts and while we give them all the time they need, I have to mention:

Everyone knows I love DexTek pens right? Of course you do because I flap my trap about them all the time. For those of you who somehow do not know the scoop, here you go. I have terrible carpal tunnel. I know, I know, I'm young to have it, but having spent most of my life typing, I'm not surprised in the least. Last summer, I almost drove myself batty trying tons of pens, all claiming to help carpal tunnel sufferers. But, nothing helped at all. Not a single one until, that is, I used this one and I've been hooked ever since. No, no, I don't own DexTek stock, I'm not related to (or sleeping with) anyone who works for DexTek. I just really, really like their pens.

The EZ Grip is the ONLY pen that I can write with for any length of time comfortably. Well, I found out today that Cokie Roberts and Al Gore love and use the same pens! Neat! (It's the little things, people, the little things.)

I suspect, however, that the pens are habit-forming. Needing to jot something down, but not having my pen, I borrowed a pen from a friend. Granted, the pen was an expensive fountain pen, so there was nothing inherently crappy about it, but it wasn't the right pen. It was almost like my hand had grown so accustomed (addicted?) to writing with the EZ Grip that anything else was, dare I say, uncomfortable, even writing the first word.

So, there you have it. I wonder what kind of pen Barack Obama uses? Hmmm....

"GOLDEN LIGHTS: 4"

Welcome to the fourth night of my Chanukah Blog Tour!

Last night OrieYenta, Rational Leftist and JewishyIrishy did their thing and today we get to meet four new friends!

First, we meet Tamara Eden, as she spills the scoop on her Dad's latke recipe.

Then, let's meet "One Dope Boy and a Rental Car" from Jews Like Bagels as he teaches us how to play strip dreidel, explains why his falafel date cut their date short to go to church and tells us the secret we must keep from his Ma.

Then, let's meet Eric from Earth Observation and raise a "right on!" fist like I did when you read his thoughts on making Chanukah visible, or not.

And, last but not at all least, meet Madeline, the bang-the-table-with-your-fist-funny Madeline of Mad Words who has the best idea I have ever heard for making dreidel more interesting. (Um, and she thinks my glasses are "hot" and put up a funny post a day or two ago about The Neverending Story, so we're friends now. I decided. Just now. Yes. My new BFF. There you have it.)

Happy Chanukah and see everyone back here tomorrow night to meet our bloggers of night FIVE. Is this cool, or what? I am having so much fun discovering all of these great blogs to add to my regular reads.

In other news totally not related to Chanukah, miracles, military holidays, olive oil, candles, Jewish bloggers and virtual book tours, my landlord came by this morning and installed a combination carbon monoxide-smoke detector that simply must be the cutting edge of such devices. It beeps like a mofo, just like any old alarm does, sure, but there is a digital sort of voice on it that says "Fire. Please note. Fire." or "Your carbon monoxide levels are currently high. Your carbon monoxide levels are currently high." Fancy PANTS!

"GOLDEN LIGHTS: 3"

Welcome to the third night of my Chanukah Blog Tour!

Last night TikkunGer and Suburban Kvetch ruled the show, and now it's time to see what our third round of the Chanukah Blog Tour brings.

To begin, click through and see what Chinese-, Spanish-, Hebrew- and English-speaking OrieYenta has to say. (Oh, and while you're at her great blog, scroll down a few days and see her adorable daughter then scroll down a bit more and read her post "Tikkun Olam for Fish". I shrieked with laughter, imagining the scenario playing out.)

Then, click through and get ready to laugh as historian, PhD acquirer and second-most world authority on Henrietta Szold, Rational Leftist brainstorms about xtreme dreidel tournaments.

And then, before you click through and read what wonderful Laurel Snyder of JewishyIrishy had to say today, take a moment and pick up both of her books, Half Life and the chose-your-own-adventure book, Daphne & Jim. (Oh, and get ready to snatch up her new book as soon as it comes out because it'll fly off the shelves!)

Happy Chanukah and see everyone back here tomorrow night to meet our bloggers of night four.

"GOLDEN LIGHTS: 2"

Welcome to the second night of my Chanukah Blog Tour!

Last night, Leah of Accidentally Jewish started things off nicely so let's put our hands (virtual hands, people, virtual hands) together for TikkunGer with his "Kosher-style Musings" and eco-car drivin', cat-lovin' Suburban Kvetch as they show us how it's done on night number two.

Happy Chhhhhhanukah and see everyone back here tomorrow night to meet our trio of bloggers of night number three.

"PAINT A VULGAR PICTURE"

I felt like shit for Shabbes, so I stayed in and did nothing.

I went to Der Rosenkavalier last night at the opera, though, as I had gotten the tickets as a Chanukah gift. It was lovely in every sense of the word. My only real complaint, though, was that Der Rosenkavalier is looooooooong. If a person, such as myself, who really likes going to operas complains that an opera is too long, it's fucking long. Maybe it just felt long. Maybe I wore uncomfortable shoes. Whatever. I saw a beautiful woman in the restroom-- maybe she was polynesian?-- with caramel stripes in her hair, two bras-- a white one and a black and red one, a sleeveless sheer black shirt, knee-boots over fishnets and a freaky orange geometric miniskirt. I stood in line to pee and watched her put on chapstick and readjust her wrist cuffs. In the sea of sensible, understated evening wear, I felt like we should have joined forces.

Beforehand, I made a stop for a glass of pinot grigio and vegetarian tapas, which is good living, if you ask me. At the restaurant, I fell in love with this painting, which hung over my table. What do I have to do to have it? It was a melancholy child with wild black hair, standing inside of an old gothic iron fence with freaky greenish-blueish fog all around. In the background, there was a tree with a pink dress and a yellow dress hanging off of coat hangers hung on brances. It reminded me of the Penny Dreadful drawings a bit and I can't stop thinking about it.

Walking home after my lovely evening, I saw head-in-progress in a parked car. Oh little blonde head, bob like the wind! Stay gold pony girl, you'll get your meaningless diamond ring from your unappreciative fratboy! (splat.)

Am I the only one, right now, that could give a rat's ass about the upcoming David Mamet Festival? Everyone I know, more or less, is weak in the knees and making arrangements and blah, blah, blah. "Didja get the fuckin' thing? What thing? You know, the fucking thing, I-- C'mon, this thing's important." Bluh. Don't care. David Mamet is one of those people who isn't to blame for having the fans that he does. He's simply just famous enough that annoying faux-intelligent people attach themselves to his work like leeches and think they are underground, indie sub-genre slickdicks for knowing who he is. Some people do it with Mamet, some people own one Bach CD and call themselves classical music fans. Whatever. There's nothing wrong or unintelligent about enjoying Mamet, or Bach or any of the others, but just keep digging in the genre. Or other genres. It's the resting on false laurels that bugs me.

Today, I'm feeling a cleaning spree. I'm still in the weird nesting mode. I can't shake the feeling that I need to mix everything up, clean every object, reexamine very thought, every idea and reorganize everything, tossing out the mental/spiritual/physical clutter that I don't feel connected to anymore. But first, breakfast. A woman cannot conquer anything on an empty stomach.

Before I dash away, here's a fun little activity that I can't seem to stop doing. Recite Smith's lyrics while doing the voice of George W. Bush. This is especially hilarious if talking through the lyrics to Shoplifters...