"REEL AROUND"

You guys! This is brand-new website it so cool! Pass it on. Booktour.

Who would like to give me a treadmill? No? Fine. Who would like to start a band? No? Fine.

So, Guths, as you might have figured out, are an open-to-possibility family, and as a result, often find ourselves on interesting adventures and pursuits. My parents, par example, are, as we speak, traveling to stay in one of the HGTV Dream Houses for the weekend. How did that happen that they get one of those places to themselves for the weekend? I don't think they are too sure, either. But, there they are, heading right in. So funny. Ma Guth said to me yesterday, I have to go shopping! I can't stay there in my regular clothes! I need to match that place! (Yeah right, like Ma Guth has ever been one to hang around in schmattas.) So, I sort of have this image of them wearing a dinner jacket and a flowy evening gown, respectively, just for cocktail hour. Eh, live it up, I say. Live it up. I have probably only seen them dolled up together maybe a handful of times since disco went by the wayside.

Now, I must put the following Canadian bands on your radar. Find them. Buy their stuff. Colourbook. Cobras Cobras Cobras. Les Autobus. And especially do not miss Wooden Sky. Possibly my new favorite band. (Click on their CBC link and scroll down to play their self-titled song. Ohhhh, I can't get enough of this song.) Wow, Canada really has their musical ducks in a row right now, don't they?

"I WILL SEE YOU IN FAR OFF PLACES"

So, it's 4:30am-ish, and I think I'm about set for Canada. Bag packed, apartment clean, passport set out where I can't forget it, yadda yadda. It'll be a fun time. Had a good weekend, and would again like to present a single-sentence stream-of-consciousness bit summing up my weekend:

errand, errand, Serbian laundry freakout, store's closed, brainstorm, can't cook I'll melt, Live Earth, fuckyouRichieSambora, timeline, 3 months, 5 months, Dukes of Hazard, passport, passport?, passport, passport?!?, passport, iddly-wonky, calm, okay, good, sleep, sleep, sleep, cat, wake, stupid Flanders cat, sleep, grapes, pack, can't cook I'll melt, must cook I'll wither, cooking leftovers, stupid rice, water, tea, melting, back to AC, melting, hot feet, meowy cat, restaurant reviews, eyeroll, sleep or nap or something, 3am get in gear

Now that I'm up, I think I want to sleep more. Oh, decisions. Sleep a little more and have to wait and hang out and get a late start to avoid Chicago rush hour, or suck it up and leave in the next two hours before rush hours starts. Hmm. Knowing me, I'll suck it up, but we shall see. (Update: I dicked around my apartment for so long trying to get it all together before sleeping a little more, that I think I need to suck it up and get going.)

Anyway. I'll blog from my travels, as per usual. I haven't been to Canada in a long time, so I'm excited to go again. Last time I was there, I went to Montreal and Quebec City, two other places I really love.

Remember, my dear Canadian (and Canadian border-near) readers, here is the scoop on my reading in Sault St. Marie. C'mon out, or send folks in your place. You know I like butts in seats for the readings. Er, I mean, an audience of smiling faces.

And... while I'm heading that direction, you can show a little love, if you like, to my hosts Uppercase Books and good ol' Bacon Bits and Midget Parts' Al Bjornaa. (Ohh, and check out a little blurb about them here).

"ACCEPT YOURSELF"

Last night, I had a dream that I was returning to work at a mountain resort hotel that I had, apparently, worked in a couple of years ago. I came back as a manager of some kind, but was relying of old employees (who I was now supervising) to show me some ropes again.

Then, I went to the ladies' room and was looking into this huge ornate mirror and realized I had huge black hairs growing out of my chin before my very eyes, only they were making noise as they grew. I pickup up a tweezer on the vanity counter and plucked them, immediately stopping the noise from each as I pulled it out. Once they were plucked, I could remember everything about the way things were done at this resort and was brimming over with ideas on how to implement progress.

Surely an auspicious dream, no? Surely a dream of action? A call to step it up?

I woke up with my kitty sleeping in a ball on my hip. It is good to be in my apartment with my kitty, that's for sure.

In just a bit, however, I am heading back out. One more trip then I don't travel again until July when I go to Canada. This afternoon, I have a little bit of biznass to attend to in Indianapolis, and to my great delight...



...Morrissey is giving a show in Indianapolis tonight, as well, which I am obviously going to attend. So, I'm doing a little work and then having a little fun. As it should be.

"YOU'RE GONNA NEED SOMEONE ON YOUR SIDE"

So, I drove from Middle of Nowhere, Louisiana today. I got a late start because I am defenseless against my grandmother's cooking. So, I stayed for lunch and got her to give me the scoop on a couple of her top secret dishes. As I was leaving, it was all hugs and smiles when she smiled and said you ought to clean up your language on your blog. I laughed, she laughed, my grandfather laughed, it was light and not a big deal, just funny. I've never seen her town as a hit on my blog, so I can only assume she read it once and was mortified by something I posted and has been waiting. I wonder which post she read. So funny.

Anyway.

My plan was to make it back to Chicago tonight, but this eyeball affliction is cramping my style. It's fine, in fact, it's feeling better tonight than it did today, but as oncoming headlights shine on me, it's waterworks. At least during the day I can do shades. Anyway, I said screw it and stopped for the night. Sleep never killed anyone. Neither did hotel towels and wi-fi.

Oh, and speaking of wi-fi. Now that I can get online with my laptop, I can post photos.

1. My grandmother circa 1944. Could she possibly be more adorable? No.


2. Me (obviously) in front of the farm I mentioned yesterday. About a minute later, my grandfather poked my typewriter tattoo and said, Uh, you look like you got hit with a typewriter, girl. My grandparents, ladies and gentlemen, so tolerant of my blog-swearing and tatoos. Haha.


3. Einstein with two new friends at Spiral Diner in Ft. Worth, TX. Feast your eyes on their menu, veg friends. I am already jonesing for the tofu club sandwich again. So delish.


4. Einstein and another friend.


5. Einstein having a rough night with margaritas.


6. Einstein with Elvis and the "butt plug lava lamp" at Sarah's Place. If you're in the Dallas/Fort Worth area and feel like a cocktail. Sarah's Place on Camp Bowie is a great time. Obviously. I mean, look! Einstein and Elvis can sing duets, for crying out loud. You just can't find that in any bar, folks.


That's it for now. I'm fading, so I'm going to zonk out and hit the road early in the morning.

"I DON'T MIND"

My brother is so talented with a camera. He made me look like a rockstar.

The reading last night at Sixth Street Live could not have possibly gone any better. The crowd came, a dear old friend gave me an introduction that brought tears to my eyes, we laughed, I read, we chatted, I sold many books, I had a great night. Last night earned the "favorite reading ever" title. For sure. Without a doubt.

In fact, I'm still kind of at a loss for words. Just a wonderful, gratifying, meaningful experience. Absolutely.

"MIXED UP"

I am now in north/central Texas. This trip, thus far, has been a really great one. I have a lot to share about Austin, my reading last night and my trek north today, but I'll have to do that a little later. After dinner with my brother and few cocktails, I'm fading.

For now, I offer this. Today, I heard three Amy-songs on the radio as I was driving. So, I consulted iTunes and realized there are far more. Behold!

Best Songs Containing The Name Amy
(Okay, Okay Probably ALL of the Songs Containing The Name Amy)

Once in Love With Amy/Frank Sinatra
Amy, Amy, Amy/Amy Winehouse
Amie/Pure Prairie League
Amy/Elton John
Miami, My Amy/Keith Whitley
Amy's Song/Switchfoot
Amy/Ryan Adams
Amy Hit The Atmosphere/Counting Crows
Amy/River City High
Amy, Tell Me Why/Track Star
Amy/Billy Redfield
Dear Amy/Quench
Amy/Richard Julian
She's No Amy/Ryan Turner
A Song For Amy/Jack Ingram
Amy with a Y/Concept:Bravery
Amy/Bongo Jones
Amy/Brittney Ellis
Amy, Amy/Danny Paola
Amy Fischer/Soul Coughing
Amy/The Bug
Amy/Neptune Crush
Amy Waits/Colby Logan
Amy/The Frauds
Amy/Al Jardine, Family and Friends
Amy/Kenny Blake
Amy/Bambix
Amy/Eden Automatic
Amy/The Leftovers
Amy Never Misses/A Small Victory
To Amy With Love/Joackson Rohm
Amy/Chad Bradford
Amy/Celeste Krenz
Amy/Percy Faith and his Orchestra
Amy/Model One
Amy/Threeleggeddog
Airline Amy/Weird Al Yankovic
Hello Amy/Michael Seymour
Amy/Rob Momary
Amy/Morty Shallman
Amy/Raymond and Scum
Amy/Barry Mann
Amy/Dirty Three
Amy/Riddle Me This
Amy In The White Coat/Bright Eyes
Amy/Shwa
Eligy for Amy/Pat McGee Band
Amy/Georgia Blue Dogs
Happy Birthday Amy/Ingrid DuMosch
Amy/ Polarbears
Amy/The Orphan Project
Amy/Davey Hamilton
Hey Amy/In Stereo
Amy Grant/Young Fresh Fellows
Amy/-123 Min.
Amy/Kiddo
Amy/Ralph Jeffers
Hey Amy/Firecracker
Chasing Amy/Allister
Amy/Mark Lewis Quartet

Wow. Well, I suppose Amys have been causing trouble in the lives of many a songwriter, huh? Eh well. Get your mix CDs going, eh?

Nightey-night. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.................................

"AS I LIVE AND BREATHE"

Due to a minor but unfortunate string of events, I have changed hotels. Let's just leave it at that. What can I say? You've got to speak up when things go awry and sometimes that clears the way for wild streaks of great luck. Anyway.

I went by Bookwoman this morning and said hello-- what a cute place! Another store I adore. I picked up a cook vegetarian book and a few fun stickers for my typewriter case (and one for my friend Schwartzy because it was so "her" I couldn't not get it). So great. I'm excited for the reading. It's small in there, so I have no idea where all the crowds and crowds of people will sit tonight (har har) but it'll be great. I just know it.

Anyway, the rain pissed off, the sun is beating down on this gorgeous city, and I am off to scrounge up some lunch and see what I see. I think an old favorite place of mine still exists near here. That'd be a kick.

"EAST WEST"

Well, I made it. I got in pretty late and hit a snafu with the hotel reservation, but eventually settled in, had a little snack, thought about robbing the mini-bar of a cocktail but opted for a Sprite instead, took a shower and passed out. I woke up a bit ago and despite the crappy weather, I'm very glad to be here.

So? Who is coming out to the reading tonight here in Austin at Bookwoman?

"I WILL SEE YOU IN FAR OFF PLACES" VOL. II

Hey folks. I made it through Arkansas with the help of Jane's Addiction and Morrissey. I'm outside of Dallas now at another truckstop. This time, though, there is a television above my head instead of a speaker blaring country music, like the previous truckstop. Everyone sitting in the dining room is looking at the television, but it feels weird to see a bunch of strangers facing me as I sit below the television. Everyone is glued to the television to watch the really terrible weather coming through. Texas storms are incredible. Driving through storms is not my favorite. So, I'll check in with the blogosphere again once I get settled in my hotel in Austin. Close. Close. Close. If I can just outrun the storms a bit, all will be well.

I got a little shout-out on Austinist today about tomorrow's reading at Bookwoman. Really, if you are in Austin tomorrow, I'd love to see your smiling face. Really. Loooove it.

Anyway, I've taken some interesting photographs during my travels today. I made a stop in Hope, Arkansas (of course) because I tend to like my presidents a little bit wonky, I suppose.

"I WILL SEE YOU IN FAR OFF PLACES"

Trying to find wi-fi in Arkansas is one hilarious exercise in near-futility. I say "near" because I'm plugged-in, obviously. I'm at a truck stop just outside of Brinkley, Arkansas, blogging away while sitting under a speaker listening to country music ("I'm gonna haaaate myself in the mornin'/but I'm gonna looove you toniiiiiight"), watching some employees of the adjoining fried chicken establishment go about their pre-lunch rush work and eavesdropping on two truckers having lunch ("Dang! I told that sumbitch to git that dang thang out my driveway fore I bulldoze it clear into his own yawrd."). I need to steal a plastic fork so I can eat my balsamic garbanzo salad in the car. Can't forget that.

Anyway, where did we leave off? Oh right, leaving Chicago. So, I left Chicago and it took a while to trudge through the prairie and arrive in Memphis, but I did. I eventually met up with Uncle Triathlon and Auntie Marathon and went to dinner at Spindini, a new restaurant their friend opened recently and we killed a good bottle of wine and some eggplant rollatini. Yes, yes and yes.

Uncle Triathlon and Auntie Marathon live next door to, of all people, David Guest, so in a pre-bedtime attempt to see if I could get a wi-fi signal, I found it eerily odd that I saw the name of his network (password-protected, as you probably could have guessed) pop up on my laptop. I wonder if I tried a password like "lizasux" I could have logged on. No, I don't think I could have swiped wi-fi from David Guest. That's too weird, even for me.

Anyway, even with a little cappuccino after dinner, I was dead to the world minutes after hopping into bed. I needed the sleep, though and slept like a champ. It's always a good sign when I wake up in the center of a big comfy bed. An experience I always value, really. This morning, I met my tiny cousin for the first time as I ate breakfast. She (my tiny cousin) is too tiny to speak just yet, so our meeting mostly involved a shrill wreeeeeeeeeee noise followed by yanking my glasses off my face and trying to eat them. Still, when you're that cute, such things are okay, if not downright hilarious.

I collect vintagey-looking postcards, like this one, but I have yet to acquire an Arkansas card for my collection. So far, do dice. I have found several for sale that have Jeff Foxworthy jokes on them, but, uh, that's not really what I'm after. Anyway, a country cover of a John Waite song is on, so I think that's my cue.

Anyway, Austin awaits. Later skaters.

"YOU'RE GONNA NEED SOMEONE ON YOUR SIDE"

My friend V. is in town, which is spectacular. I have found that to talk to V. is to be friends with V., and so he generally has friends popping up everywhere.

Anyway, we went to Steppenwolf Theatre to see Betrayal, a wonderful production starring Ian Barford, Tracy Letts and V.'s friend, Amy Morton. (You're friends? How did I not know this?) After the show, we stood and chatted with her a bit, then we found ourselves following her through a back stairwell as she called to the other actors that if they'd wait she'd give them all rides home, before sneaking us into the light/sound booth in the mainstage area to peek in on another production in-progress. She pointed out a few features of the space, such as there being tons of wing space stage right and hardly any stage left, we stood and watched the show for a few minutes, then turned to go.

After, we hit my favorite tapas place, met some new friends visiting from New Jersey, then parted ways. It is now 4:30 am and I'm off to dash him to the airport. So early. So early. But, for V., I'll do it. The rest of youse, I might have to think it over, though. (wink)

Anyway, it's just as well, since I am leaving for another big trek in few short hours. I'll blog en route. This trip, you guys, is going to be a hill of fun. I can just feel it in my bones.

"ANOTHER JOURNEY"

Texans! Are you ready for a little Guth-a-Go-Go?

5/9
Boookwoman , 7pm-ish
918 W. 12th St. (12th & Lamar)
Austin, TX

5/14
Sixth Street Live , 7pm sharp!
2736 W. 6th Street
Fort Worth, TX

"ASK ME, UH-HO-HO, ASK ME"

So, this one is a little different. My friend sent me this in email form (she does not blog) but I thought it was too cool not to turn into a blog meme. Behold! I turned it into a meme!

The "ASK ME, UH-HO-HO, ASK ME" Meme

This is a chain interviewing meme. Here is how it goes... I'm going to answer the five questions my friend asked me. I don't tag you. You tag yourself. If you want to participate, leave "'Ask me, uh-ho-ho, ask me" in the comments section of this post and I'll then send you five questions that I am dying to ask of you. You post the questions and your answers to the questions on your blog. (You might want to include this explanation for clarity. Feel free to just link to this one instead of worrying about having to re-explain it, if that is easier.) When others comment on your blog asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions that you are dying to ask of them. Got it? Good.

Make sense? Okay, here are my answers to my friend's questions. Again, if you want participate, just comment with "Ask me, uh-ho-ho, ask me" and that's it.

1. Amy, how many different addresses have you had in your life?

Exactly twenty-one addresses, unless I am forgetting one, which I probably am.

2. Amy, why do you never show your teeth in pictures?

Oh, snap! Never say never.

3. Amy, do you want women to band together and beat up guys after they read your boook?

No! I think the most overlooked point in Three Fallen Women is that it isn't a call for women to blame men for anything, but to grow a set of ovaries and live strong, empowered lives by not making anymore stupid choices out of fear. It puts the onus on women to save themselves and each other from themselves and one another. Big difference. Huge.

4. Amy, what word or term do you want to see make a comeback?

Glad you asked! I want to start saying someone "is a kick" rather than "is awesome", etc. Swell is a good word, too. I don't mind swell. And, I'd like to see the word "fine" not be a snarky reply but an enthusiastic one again, as in, "Why sure, So-and-so is a real kick. I like her just fine."

5. Amy, your hair is so shiny! Do you buy good Shampoo or buy whatever is on sale? Will you always keep one shade or another of pink or will you ever branch out to other colors?

I don't fool around with cheap crap on my hair. I buy the good stuff. Ad for the other question, pssh, to those of you who knew me way back when, you know the answer is: "Amy Guth never met a haircolor she didn't try at least once." I just happen to really think the pinks and magentas and burgundies really suit me. I like them jsust fine.

"SISTER YOU'RE A POET"

Hey gang! I have an offering for you. I have been getting a few, okay, many, many requests for a reading guide for my book, Three Fallen Women, for book clubs to use.

Okay, okay, I heard you! So, may I present the latest from the Guth-a-Go-Go masterminds (I hear they are lately demanding to be called "Guth-a-Go-Go Dancers"), a book club resource guide, which can be accessed from my website, or by clicking right here.

Spiffy, eh?

Good Shabbes, if that's your thing. Happy Weekend, to all.

"REEL AROUND THE, UH, BATHROOM"

If I am supposed to call you today, I'm sorry. I woke up with a sore throat and then the fever came. I'm hitting the Zicam so I'll kick it out of my system soon. As per usual, I get stressed out, then get a little under the weather. Anyway, if I owe you an email or a call or something, bear with me.

Ah, but I do have some super news! My friend has finally launched a most excellent blog and I'm here to invite you to contribute to it. Check it out right here. Yep, it's really called The Bathroom Blog. Yep, it's really photos of interesting bathrooms. And, I have alrady given her a couple of photos from an interesting bathroom I stumbled across in my recent travels.

Back to the couch. Sigh.

"GLAMOUROUS GLUE"

Due to a terrible miscommunication and some good intentions, I ended up eating some smuggled chicken stock last night, served by an aborablde Hungarian grandma who later showed her boobs. Anyway. Some vegetarians are sensitive, some are not. I am. Few things are finer than waking up in the middle of the night to shit your head off except for maybe shitting your head off while yaking in the sink. Ohhh, stop lovin' me. I know I'm a pretty little princess. Hmm! Wanna make out? Hang on. Blarghjefkndfgknfkgnkng! There. That's better. Oy. I've felt like ass all day.

The night before, I awoke to a male couple having a take-it-to-the-street domestic squabble. Apparently, Carlos came in drunk, and Ted was none too pleased and announced to the neighborhood that Carlos was a "dirty cocksucking Puerto Rican bitch", twice. Twice! So, naturally, Carlos insisted Ted a "pimple-cocked gloryhole" before stamping away, removing his shoes and hurling then at poor Ted. Ted wailed and shouted for the attention of all neighbors, as we should really be made aware that Carlos carried a fake Prada. Not that I got out of bed and watched any of this. My neighborhood is fantastic.

Man, I am so itchy for a new tattoo. I got another piercing two evenings ago and just the smell of good ol' tattoo shop disinfectant spray made me jones.... I am trying to round up a tattoo artist who will consider inking a big section of my back, near where one of my existing tattoos are, during a reading on my book tour. Like s/he and I can sit there and I'll read while s/he inks. What? Why is that weird? I think it would be marvelous.