"IGNORE ALL THE CODES OF THE DAY"

You know what I wish? I wish I could find one of those bodyforms for sewing, but not the new flimsy fuzzy-plastic ones, but the old stuffed fabric ones. In my size. You know what else I wish? I wish a dentist would stop me on the street and say "Your smile is pretty good, but I can make it better! If you'll be my guinea pig/model/before-and-after person, I'll do your dental work for free." I don't give too big a shit about cosmetic procedures, but MAN, I would love to flash a big ol' Miss America grin. My teeth are pretty good, but a little oomph would be nice.

With this post, and the previous, I think it's obvious I've been sitting around feeling under the weather for the last few days, getting stir crazy and doing weird shit like scrutinizing my hair roots and teeth and feeling the void in my sewing area. So it goes.

How was the weekend? Mine was pretty good. I found out the hard way (mostly via experience, unfortunately) that what I thought was all sinus pressure was partly a weird allergy that I had as a kid that's come back. But, I suspected it was returning, so whatever. Unfortunately, the reaction grew up, too, so, you know, being sick plus that little tidbit equals fuggetaboutit.

But, I say my weekend was "pretty good" because, well, that's good to know, and because I feel a whole hell of a lot better and I checked in on some kittens whose people were out of town and did low-key stuff and actually fucking held still and rested instead of pretending not to be under the weather.

And, just in time, too. I have stuff to do this week! But right now, I think I want a nap.

"A SILVER-STUDDED RIM THAT GLISTENS"

I look so white trash with these big grey roots.

I decided a while back to grow out my grey hair to see where I stood with it. I started going grey young, to tell you the truth. I was maybe sixteen or seventeen when I found my first few silvers. Anyway, I've only touched up the pink in the front lately, but let everything else grow. Yowzers. The top is so grey, in fact, that it is almost more grey than brown. So, the new plan is the let the sides and back go, since those roots aren't visible, while the hair on top stays under the protective care of haircolor. Once the back and sides grow all the way out I'll let the top go in phases to catch up. All this to avoid silver roots. If I was braver or a dude, I'd crop my hair and be done. But I like my hair and don't feel up for a pixie. In the meantime, I have cut pictures of silver-haired ladies out of magazines. I found one that says "here comes they grey" and find myself studdying pictures of Emmylou Harris.

I'm in the "live more naturally" camp today, but give it a week, though, and I'll be back in the "I'll deal with this in a decade" camp. Then back to the naturalist camp, and so on and so forth.

"ACCEPT YOURSELF"

Shalom, I cut bangs. I like them. They sort of force me to not be so fussy about my hair. And, they look a little bit rockabilly, which, doy, I like very much. Not baby bangs, just bangs, long, floppy bangs, but they're awesome.

Speaking of awesome, the black and chrome Mini I lust after is parked across the street. Who are you and may I please have your car? What? You can have my car. That would totally be fair. Ohh, speaking of cars, not next weekend but next, when I head to Omaha for the (Downtown) Omaha Lit Fest, (gosh,ilovethatwebsite) I'll have company this time. Jami Attenberg is flying to Chicago then driving out with me. Won't that be a fun time? If our Omaha mojo continues, it's bound to be an adventure-- remember the semi-barfight she and I got into last year the night before the lit fest? (Her take on it--- I always forget about the sweet couple that helped dispose of the ne'er-do-well.) Yeah. Oh, and the night we arrive, I'm doing the Omaha edition of Jonathan Messinger's delightful Dollar Store Show. Same piece I did in June, complete with drill sgt. and fratboy impersonations by yours truly.

Going to see Mermaidhead after I do a cuppla things. She's counting the days. If all goes as planned (and g-d forbid it should not, kaynahorah, puh puh puh) we'll all get welcome little Neptune into the world next week.

"HAIRDRESSER ON FIRE"

I saw a woman today with really cool hair and she made me think that maybe I too could have super hip, messy hair. So, I have recreated her 'do, minus the kelly green stripes. Help me out...




























This is a (a) cute, messy hip hairstyle I should wear tonight or (b) something that looks like I just took a roll in the hay and ought to comb out, or (c) it doesn't look any different, I am clearly on glue.

Thanks.

xoxo,
LaGuth

"I DON'T MIND IF YOU FORGET ME"

Random curiosities of random rank:

My Dad is home and says he just wants to sleep for two days and will call and tell all after that.

I have cable again.

I'm going first, this morning, to a good old synagogue yard sale (Hello to the grannies donating their designer vintage!), then to the Printers Row Book Fair to say hello to a few folks, then tonight, my vegetarian ass is going to brave Ribfest so that I can see Baby Teeth.



I have a loaner cell phone that is a dinosaur. If I don't respond to your texts or don't answer when you call, I probably have no idea. Or, I have no interest in talking to you. Either way, nothin' personal.

It throws me for a loop when someone completely misreads me.

Remember I decided not to cut my hair until my second novel is out into the world? Well, if I don't hurry, my moppy head will drive me bonkers.

Don't click this link at work! This was sent to me and I don't know what to think about it.

"ASK ME, UH-HO-HO, ASK ME"

So, this one is a little different. My friend sent me this in email form (she does not blog) but I thought it was too cool not to turn into a blog meme. Behold! I turned it into a meme!

The "ASK ME, UH-HO-HO, ASK ME" Meme

This is a chain interviewing meme. Here is how it goes... I'm going to answer the five questions my friend asked me. I don't tag you. You tag yourself. If you want to participate, leave "'Ask me, uh-ho-ho, ask me" in the comments section of this post and I'll then send you five questions that I am dying to ask of you. You post the questions and your answers to the questions on your blog. (You might want to include this explanation for clarity. Feel free to just link to this one instead of worrying about having to re-explain it, if that is easier.) When others comment on your blog asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions that you are dying to ask of them. Got it? Good.

Make sense? Okay, here are my answers to my friend's questions. Again, if you want participate, just comment with "Ask me, uh-ho-ho, ask me" and that's it.

1. Amy, how many different addresses have you had in your life?

Exactly twenty-one addresses, unless I am forgetting one, which I probably am.

2. Amy, why do you never show your teeth in pictures?

Oh, snap! Never say never.

3. Amy, do you want women to band together and beat up guys after they read your boook?

No! I think the most overlooked point in Three Fallen Women is that it isn't a call for women to blame men for anything, but to grow a set of ovaries and live strong, empowered lives by not making anymore stupid choices out of fear. It puts the onus on women to save themselves and each other from themselves and one another. Big difference. Huge.

4. Amy, what word or term do you want to see make a comeback?

Glad you asked! I want to start saying someone "is a kick" rather than "is awesome", etc. Swell is a good word, too. I don't mind swell. And, I'd like to see the word "fine" not be a snarky reply but an enthusiastic one again, as in, "Why sure, So-and-so is a real kick. I like her just fine."

5. Amy, your hair is so shiny! Do you buy good Shampoo or buy whatever is on sale? Will you always keep one shade or another of pink or will you ever branch out to other colors?

I don't fool around with cheap crap on my hair. I buy the good stuff. Ad for the other question, pssh, to those of you who knew me way back when, you know the answer is: "Amy Guth never met a haircolor she didn't try at least once." I just happen to really think the pinks and magentas and burgundies really suit me. I like them jsust fine.