"THERE IS A PINK LIGHT THAT NEVER GOES OUT"

Happy Keyword Day! It's been a while since I've posted my recent keywords and I just noticed some good ones.

naked with mouth- ???
naked frum- ???
irrumare- ???
bigmouth breasts- ???
amy guth image boobiethon-- nice try.
big mouth jew- nice. douche.
amy guth- present.
amy guth husband- man, I always get this one.
amy guth married- settle down, har.
cristin hinojosa- no clue.
amy pearl in toronto- what? you want me to come read in toronto? Sure.
amy ralph- unless it's a Simpsons thang, I'm stumped.
and i forced you to a zone- no clue.
rhetorical sterculian said- what didn't he say? Har.
little person reason big mouth- what's funny is that just yesterday I had Little People, Big World on television, but yeah, not sure about the keyword search.

Anyway, it always cracks me up wheat people search that lands them here in Bigmouthsylvania.

So, I have less than a week to gather the remaining monies for the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk if I am to meet my goal and I really hope you will help if you can. Like I've said-- even a couple of dollars here and there is appreciated and it makes a difference. I promise you. So, if you can, please donate today. Several Citizens of the Blogosphere and associates have already donated (and I am so appreciative!), in fact. Like who, you ask? Well, if you click over to the donation page, you'll see some scrolling names in the lower right corner of folks like Schwartzeleh, Mermaidhead & Baby Neptune, Orieyenta, Rational Leftist, Sparkypoo, PNC281, Ma Guth, Tamar the Fox, The Prosecutor, Bubs, Dondi & Goaty, Helena (who really, really should blog because she'd be a kickass blogger), and many others who I am so appreciative to for donating.

And, since I've got your doing all that clicking-- hit The Breast Cancer Site, hit the pink button and it'll donate mammography to women in need.

Then, hello, every household needs tools. This tool set from Tomboy Tools (we'll save the gender role/gender identification tawlk for another day and just focus on the positive action of this tool set, mmkay? it is an important discussion and a valid one, of course, but the fact remains that a pink hammer isn't threatening to me, and if it raises money for a good cause, it's good in my book. It occurs to me, too, that there is many an issue with making tools pink and thus saying non-pink tools are solely masculine, or that a company called Tomboy implies that tools aren't generally for women, only women who do masculine and tomboyish things, BUT, again we are going to focus on the facts and the facts are thus:) that donates $7 from each pink tool set purchased to the Susan G. Komen foundation with a guaranteed minimum donation of $100,000. Not too shabby. I have an attachment to a particular red hammer my Dad gave me when I was a kid so I could help him with projects, but I wouldn't mind a pink one, too. Especially benefiting such a great cause and double-especially if it lived amongst pink levels and ratchets and in a pink toolbag!

Anyway, tooldes for now.

"ANYTHING IS HARD TO FIND, WHEN YOU WILL NOT OPEN YOUR EYES"

Here are the latest keywords people have been using in searches that have landed them here on this blog:

amy guth: Present.

amy guth blog: You found it, friend.

amy guth husband: No such dude, sorry.

amy guth pics: They exist.

amy guth birthplace: It was Asheville, NC. I lived there the first year of my life.

amy guth wikipedia: repeatedly denied, apparently I am not notable enough. Or my friend who is trying to post it is a shitty wikipediaist.

free picture of fooball player wifes or women: no clue

bigmouth boat supply: no clue

hairdresser on fire poem: logical enough, cute that you call it a poem

fainting after injury: usually

two faced bigmouth strikes again: bitter. I wonder what the searcher was looking to find. They only stuck around thirty seconds, so it wasn't here, whatever it was.

bigmouth indeed strikes again: Welcome.

three fallen women: You're close. Look in the right sidebar there and order as many as you'd like.

you're gonna need someone: Everyone does sooner or later.

hugh behm-steinberg: he's a poet.

rick karlin: wonderful man, buy his book

bigmouth indeed: Welcome.

where to buy weatherstripping: Hardware store.

lisa simpson evaluate me: I wish she would.

coffee with extra caffeine: Terrifying, isn't it?

songs with the name amy in them: Tons!

dragon's triangle trench: see blog posts this week

amie winehouse balls: and whiskey, don't forget the whiskey

bigmouth strikes again: great song

dragons triangle worm hole: see blog posts this week

ichiban eggplant recipes: share 'em when you find 'em

monroe, la-- kosher hummus: never thought I'd see those terms together

meaning behind big mouth strikes again: just dig the song, friend

black hole mariana trench bermuda triangle: see blog posts this week

kyrie eleison what the hell does that mean: I wonder, too. And now that song is stuck in my head.

coffee driving: ??

big teeth mouth: ???

how to pronounce reconstucted greek: You're barking up the wrong tree, friend.

whatever happens for the 80s lyrics: Well, whatever does happen?

"ASSEMBLE THE WAYS"

Keywords people have searched recently and landed on my blog:

"Amy Guth" (I would hope)
"typewriter tattoo" (which I have, so this is a reasonable one)
"chicks bubbes" (s/he landed on a post with "bubbie" in it)
"bigmouth strikes again smiths remix" (easy one)
"naked jewish lady" (uh, sorry to dissapoint. Jewish, yes. Naked, no.)
"porn the laundry lady" (Hmm...)
"how to accept yourself" (aw.)
"accept yourself" (do you two know each other? I think you should.)
"when a girls gone wild" (the way this one is worded makes me think he isn't looking for the video, but more for a way to reel his lady back in.)
"bloggers choice award" (Hope you voted! If not, see my sidebar)
"Amy Guth married" (Checking my relationship status, are we?)
"Big mouth girls" (I smell porn, kids)
"big mouth films asexuality" (no clue)
"last minute butt-plug" (!)

"OPENED MY EYES"

There is this great thing that a lot of bloggers I adore do. They look at the keywords people are searching that land them on their blogs and, sometimes, post exactly that. See, Johnny Yen's Ode to Iggy Pop and Sprawling Ramshckle Compound's musings on Sybil Danning par example.

Anyway, I thought to do the same, but realized that would likely not be terribly entertaining to most of you if I elaborated too much on any of them. My recent blog keyord searches include: "different ways to fuck", "frozen shower drain" (okay, that one I can really understand-- see last week), "so run down to the safety of the town" (lyrics-- fair enough), "small town witch sneaker pimps" (uh, no idea), "girl poop in my mouth" (yeah, no idea), "amy bender doing it porn" (wtf?), "sleeping with blonde girl fucked up" (who are you people?), "beautiful girl you fucker" (does that me a beautiful girl you have realtions with or is it more like "Hey, you fucker she's a beautiful girl"...?)

My website is far less useful for elaboative fodder, with the only Google hits arriving there are searches for "Amy Guth" (duh), "Three Fallen Women" (duh), "Dextek pens (big duh), and the slightly mysterious "Amy Guth three fallen award winner"... Eh well, as soon as I get a hit worth elaborating upon, rest assured that I will gladly deliver to the searcher exactly what they are looking for.

"CHARLOTTE SOMETIMES"

I just checked on my recent incoming keywords to see what the world is searching to land on my blog. It's usually pretty direct, truth be told. I mean, people are usually looking for me or something I've written when they find my blog or website. But, once in a while, I get a flurry of weird searches. Behold, the flurry of weird searches:

guth boy
i am a sic
lisa simpsons grade me
adult uhho
hives from a tanning bed
i don't mind if you forget me
how soon is now book
big mouth strikes again words
strip dreidel rules
cyber treadmill i feel faint
at anyway cafe
bigmouth blog

(NOTE to my brother: Yo, "Guth Boy" is that you people are searching? Do share your cyber adventures to enlighten me as to why you are the number one incoming random search for me..? Wait, I just thought better of that. On second thought, don't tell me.)

And there you have it. Depending on how today goes, I might be staring down the barrel of a very busy week. But, if today goes swimmingly, it might not be too bad. More on that later.