Sep 12, 2007

"IF THERE'S SOMETHING YOU'D LIKE TO TRY"

Shanah Tovah, how are we all doing this fine evening? I had many adventures today. Let's make a list. I like lists.

  • Writing: My Jewcy post went up about security and hate crime. I thank all of youse for the lovely emails that have come in about my post from a couple of days ago explaining some details about the holiday.
  • Circumcision: I got a crash course in infant kippot as the bris for Neptune is tomorrow afternoon and finding a kippah for a 4.9 lb. baby is quite an adventure.
  • Cars: What started out as an oil change and a fuel injector cleaning fluid quest ended with, yes an oil change and fuel injector cleaning fluid, but also in four new tires.
  • Wax/Fetuses: My eyebrow wax lady produced a magazine for me in Vietnamese that showed Chinese families boiling female fetuses and plunking them into placenta soups for men to eat for increased virility.
  • Bread/Blisters: I got a big, delicious sample of Leah's freshly baked challah when I brought by some apples for her afternoon social thing tomorrow, but only after she gave me Band-Aids for the blisters on my heel because I walked from the tire place to her condo, and these places are not so close together, and did so in shoes I did not expect to walk so far in.
  • Rosh HaShanah: Post-car stuff, I didn't get my act together in time for any Rosh HaShanah festivities tonight, but I'll be there in the morning. Tonight feels autumney and cozy and introspective and just perfect for the occasion. I just love Rosh to bits. I'm so excited for the Shofar in the morning. My rabbi can play the shit out of a shofar. For the 411 on a shofar, please watch the worst cheesiest video ever. How coked out funny is that kid? Speaking of the shofar, it has come to my attention that some speaking-in-tongues fundamentalists have started using them in connection with "feeling the spirit" type events and they get played all cheesebag super-serious and more like French horn. This, of course, makes me a little iddly. See dull-ass creep-out co-opting here and completely creepy hoedown shouting about Jesus here. (Not that there is anything wrong with having JC as your homeboy) Please note, this is not what happens in a synagogue. I would die! It's more like this, but indoors and with this kind of milling-around chaos and less shrieking.
  • Shofar/Angry Cat: If you would like to irritate the shit out of your cat, sit around watching shofar clips on YouTube.
  • Media: I mastered sending pics to Flickr from my Blackberry and I am glad.

5 comments:

Wings - john k said...

Well so much for breakfast ... boiling fetuses ... OMG ... and you have that following a paragraph about Neptune?

Amy Guth said...

OMG is right! No boiling fetuses here, sir. Ew.

Eric Spitznagel said...

Don't knock it till you've tried it.

We're here!
We're eating Vietnamese babies for virility!
Get used to it!


It's just like one of those french dip sandwiches, except the au ju sauce comes with more placenta goodness.

rhet said...

"...Vietnamese that showed Chinese families boiling female fetuses and plunking them into placenta soups for men to eat for increased virility..."

Propaganda!
The Viet do not like the Chinese.
Remember the Boat People of the mid seventies? Ethnic Chinese being booted out of Vietnam in an act of "Ethnic Cleansing"

Adam Deutsch said...

My latest adventures all include emails with Aaron Burch. The Fixx is in!