"ACCEPT YOURSELF"

I visited Mermaidhead today and sat with her in her living room in the chair as she fidgeted on the couch. She looks so good now that she is out of that hospital and in her house again. I mean, wait, she looked fine in the hospital, she's always gorgeous, but she looks smiley and glowey at home. I brought her construction paper and posterboard; inspiration struck her in the morning and I happily brought art supplies to fulfill her creative mojo.

You know, not that it matters what I think in this regard, but we were talking today about life and ideas and meaning and purposeful, mindful living and I think that really, whatever people that she and King Neptune guide into adulthood are going to be really fine people. I really think that. I do.

That said, we got the laptop and sneaked a look at tiny punk baby shirts and laughed at awesome "onesies" with funny, badass graphics like the one with a tricycle that read "boobie, binky or blankie-- nobody rides for free" and laughed about "there are people fucking on the back of my shirt!" and "mommy drinks because of me". So funny. Yes, yes, I'm completely Jewy superstitious about not buying baby items before a birth too, but it was just a look at a website, nothing was purchased. Just a peek. I pride myself on giving tiny children dirty t-shirts. This is my plan, always. I am that gifter.

After, I ran to the gym and got a super-fast workout and two mile short-run in just before they closed. The first 3/4 mile was shitty, but then I found the right song (not surprisingly, I run with music in the same way that write to it) and was able to rock out the rest of the run fast and evenly and well and perfectly paced. Pace is key. I see people hop onto treadmills or start on races or just run around the block and just haul ass and seem confused as to why they can't run very far. Pacing is everything, I feel. I learned that one the hard way-- even though I'd trained really well, and even though I knew better, I was so excited to be finally running a marathon that I ran just a tiny, tiny bit faster that my usual pace for the first few miles that day and really struggled to keep myself feeling fueled and energetic later in the race. Now when I run, I hit this pace that I know is the perfect pace for me and it feels good and strong and any silly crap that popped up during the day disappears.

I might be nuts if I didn't run. It's the best time to just be and just think and just feel my muscles and tendons and bones and joints and sense of balance and all just work together. It's a funny thing, too. When I set out on a run, my mind is always busy and filled with to do lists and errands and projects, but stride after block after mile, my brain sort of rearranges itself and settles down and I can just be.

Anyway, enough seriousness, I'm watching a show on television asserting that the Bermuda Triangle (Puerto Rican Trench at about 5 miles deep) and the Pacific Dragon Triangle (Mariana Trench at about 11 miles deep), because they both fall, latitudinally, about the same, are connected in at planetary core by a land-bound blackhole that connects via wormhole and thereby presenting a hypothesis that black holes, active Atlantic volcanism and less-abstract versions of white holes exist on earth (in an igneous way), interconnectedly and this theory is being supported mainly by example of agonic lines.

Okay, wait, that was serious, also. Nerdy as shit, too. Okay, uh, forget I just said all of that.

I'm going to bed. Night, folks.