Feb 12, 2007

"DIAL-A-CLICHE"

I took a shower this morning and tonight. And, I am happy to report that I did not take either shower for granted. A good amoount of snow is expected tonight and tomorrow, so I am anxiously flipping on the hot water every few hours to prevent it from freezing again.

Free yoga week started tonight in Chicago, which I'm excited about. I'm going to do it anyway, but sometimes group yoga is a nice change of pace, and I fel like I learn new things from different instructors. Especially cool because I just happen to be reading (in all my abundance of free time) a cool book about yoga.

In other news, I sat near a young man "educating" his girlfriend in a diner today all about how the Jews control the media and that's how we fabricated the holocaust and then claimed that "the French State Department helps them (Jews) out so that's why we got to boycott French stuff"... pointing to her order of French toast and smiling, adding "Freedom toast, see?" (So, it isn't a boycott as much as a gneral sweeping renaming, eh?)

She nodded, smiling, then added that she'd never met a Jew before then they went on to discussing his (only his, she said little, only nodded) plans for them to be missionaries after his military deployment in the Middle East. Naturally, he responded by telling her all about the "Jews and A-rabs with turban and stuff" in his travels. WTF? What planet did I eat lunch on? Am I in Chicago? Why were they in rodeo attire? WTF? Since when do my people wear turbans?

Hello? Thought I could have pulled out a verbal smack-down like Accidentally Jewish, I knew it would fall on deaf ears and shot him a dirty look instead. Totally bullshit wimpy reaction, but after the week of shower nonsense, and just getting out from under a stack of work, I don't think I had the mojo workin' well enough that I would have done much to help matters ayway. Eh well.

Besides, "Freedom Toast" can only fly if you're willing to give "Liberty Cabbage" another shake, too.

12 comments:

jake ryan of sixteen candles fame said...

would have protected you, sweets.

okay, it looks like a lo of your commenter friends missed me. didn't know i was so popular thanks.

diane said...

Er, I wouldn't say we missed you Jake, so much as we expected you to embarrass yourself piping up again about Amy being naked.
Amers, I half-wish I had been there to walk arm in arm with you up to that man's table and say, "Excuse me, since this young lady has never seen a Jew before, I thought I'd introduce my friend here, who is not only a real live Jew but a top-notch lady as well. You'll note she does not wear a turban, nor control the media. Okay, thanks, carry on."

Honestly, this shit just continues to blow my mind.

Amy Guth said...

But it might have been uncomfortable since I had just start eating that toasted gentile baby and sharpening my little horns.

Adam Shprintzen said...

What with Dreyfuss and Vichy, we totally have the French wrapped around our claws. Umm, fingers.

In the spirit of Liberty Cabbage, it made me think of other possible culinary re-classifications in case of future foreign policy strife:

1. General Middle Eatern Wars: Hummus becomes Democractic Chick Pea Puree (served with Capital Circles--aka pita)

2. Japan: Sushi becomes Self-determination Rolls

3. Mexico: Mole becomes Chocolate Suffrage Sauce

4. Italy: Penne becomes Self-Government Tubes

Amy Guth said...

Self-Government Tubes! Holy shit, that's so funny.

Wings - john k said...

Dearest Amy,

After reading about your late night (early morning) breakfast and now this dinner conversation, I would respectfully suggest you start thinking twice about the places you are choosing to dine.

Talk to Frieda and see if you can't borrow the scalpel to carry with you for protection.

john k

Amy Guth said...

I wish I could say that it had something to do with my choices, but if I told you what neighborhood we were dealing with, you would be amazed. A good one in both cases, sadly. Sigh...

Haha, well, even the best restaurants can't prevent a hate-filled dumbass from entering.

diane said...

re: Hummus

I hope she's not a budding racist, but I do find it pretty funny that my cousin's daughter, Lana, will grab the hummus out of the refrigerator, dump the hummus container out on the floor and say, "ca ca!"

Johnny Yen said...

I heard a holocaust denyer somewhere in our "Jewish-controlled media" claiming that the holocaust was an exaggeration-- that there were tops, a million Jews killed. Of course! How could I have been so silly! That's a totally acceptable level of genocide...

Jack's Shack said...

I am feeling rather cranky. Would have loved to tie him up with my turban and then force fed him a stale bagel. Not very neighborly of me.

Amy Guth said...

Jack, I love that it's a stale bagel.

"jew" "girl" said...

love a good glare! never underestimate the power of disdainful glare. I would've done the same thing.

next time, you can always say, "hi" shake the scumbag's hand and say, "you not only just met a jew, you touched one!"

you can shower afterwards!

in 07'. un-fuckin-believable.