"STRANGEWAYS HERE WE COME"

You've got to be shitting me! I heard a little rumble of this earlier, thought it was a joke and ignored it. But, just moments ago, I got the following email sent through my website. I normally wouldn't bother releasing the name or contact info, but she seems pretty gung-ho for having a dialogue of some sort, so feel free to write this lady and give her your thoughts on the matter. And, hey, feel free to copy me on it. I think this is hilarious!

(Note: I have not edited any of her email, so hold on to your hats, grammer/spelling police!)

mariloupeters@yahoo.com writes:

Dear Miss Guth,

My daughter returned from a trip to Chicago with some friends with a copy of your "book" and I read a little of it, as I believe it is important to be an involved parent. I have to tell you that I was disgusted after only a few pages and sat down to pray for my daughter (and you, too!!!!!!!!!!!!!). After praying about it, I spoke to my daughter who began to cry and admitted to attending a reading of yours last week in that city. I have forgiven her and she has confessed to me all of the things she read in your "book". She tells me you promote a homosexual agenda with a lesbian character (which you probably are too) and a character sacrificing her unborn child. Only a baby killer would write that and the cover is probably from a baby sacrifice. Is this true? I bet it is. I read the first part about a man touching himself and wanted to die it was so gross. People like you who have fallen away from His light cannot understand the evil you put in the world. I want to be a good person and give you a chance to repent I have told my church group about you and emailed some book stores I enjoy and asked them to not buy your books. I feel that because this "book" has come into my life uninvited, I am being called to help protect people from it.

Please repent for everyones sake's. It would be the moral thing to do to stop this "book" from poisoning any more girl's. I will be gathering like-minded, decent Christian people together to help me pray for this and for my daughter. I am countig on you to do the right thing.

Blessings,
Marilou Peters

Good grief. I only wish I could say I was making that shit up. I'm amazed and bewildered and, um, a little confused. One of my characters is bisexual, yes, and one of my characters has a stupid abortion. So what? Is there really a homosexual agenda? Man, if so, what is it? Can I play, too? Um, and, just because I wrote about a fictional character having an abortion, does that mean I had one? Shit, I had no idea. Where was I? Weird. By this thinking, does that mean that Dr. Suess actually had a giant talking cat pay him a visit? Not likely. Did Jules Verne actually go 20,000 leagues under? Probably not. Did Melville really stress about a giant whale? Um, no.

And, I wonder what got her daughter to my reading, anyway? I don't recall meeting a repressed kid dying to break free from her mom, but maybe she had a good poker face. I wonder what she was doing in Chicago anyway? Did she tell her mother she was coming to spread gospel messages? It just a little funky to me that she'd end up at my reading, when I make no secret whatsoever that they are less than wholesome. Could it be that she actually came to Chicago and had a pretty cool time and it unnerved her mother a bit? Very likely, I'd say.

Well, what can I say? I'm sorry this girl hurt her mother. I'm not sorry she read my book. I'm sorry her mother made her feel ashamed for reading it, though. I'm sorry this woman is so threatened by words on a page that she wants to take some kind of mobilizing action against me. I'm... mostly just amazed.

(Don't even get me started about the apostrophe business. We all make mistakes, but man, that's a real peeve of mine. )