Dec 12, 2007

"HOW I LOVE ALL OF THE VERY SIMPLE THINGS OF LIFE"

Man, I was pissed off last night.

It really got under my skin that... well, no wait, let me back up. My family, extended and immediate, has been in some communication time-warp lately, it feels like. Everyone is talking or typing at once, so signals are getting crossed, people are getting their feelings hurt by feeling unheard and undermined and blah blah blah. Anyway, that's not the rub. I say that only because I realized how much it's been bothering me last night when everything came to a head.

So, there's that ahhj, coupled with a few encounters I've had lately that have left me more aware than ever that it doesn't matter how kind I am to people; when given the opportunity to help (a) just themselves or (b) themselves plus another person, most people will pick (a) and I think that's shitty, especially when there's usually no or minimal effort involved in stepping up to option (b). I'm always emailing people- friends and acquaintences alike-- and pointing them to opportunities that seem like a good fit for them and such. I don't do that because I want to job-dig any of them, but because I think it's the right thing to do. I don't think there is any cap on success, I really don't. But, most people do, and I know that.

Mind you, I have a great group I run with. My BFFs are fabulous, kind, thoughtful people who would never throw anyone under the bus and who support me like crazy. No lie. My bullshit threshold is lower than ever and so I'm not talking about that. I just mean people. People I know, people I don't, people I barely know, people I overhear saying things without thinking and without noticing faces dropping around them. I saw mega-selfishness in such a high dose and all relatively at once and it got to me because I don't care about how much money anyone makes or doesn't make, I don't care if your house is fancy or shitty, I don't care if your car is great or a piece of shit, I don't care if you're single or partnered, kids no kids, in shape or out of shape or somewhere in between, well-traveled or well-read or not, religious or not... the only thing I care about, and you're all just going to have to believe me, the only thing I care about anymore if whether or not someone is a good person, a kind person, a positive person. That's it.

The world being like it is, I happened upon something yesterday that was timed perfectly:

"I know I probably should have outgrown this by now, but somehow I'm always surprised when someone-- or something-- lets me down. If you are constitutionally optimistic, as I apparently am, you expect a certain something (call it quality functionality) from the things and the people that surround you, which in itself is not such a bad trait. But, what accompanies sunny optimism all too often is the surprising disappointment that comes when something-- or someone-- fails you."

And, I think fails is a strong word choice there. Especially when something isn't ours to fail us. But, the gist is right. I hear something so short-sighted and mean thoughtlessly coming from people sometimes and I just want to scream. How hard is it to be nice? Are we all so afraid of someone dominating us that we're all getting so aggressive and bitchy and can't just be nice to each other anymore? Is that it? And why, will someone please tell me, why horrible people who don't have a single kind word seem to get everywhere in life? And, sometimes, maybe it doesn't come from a mean place, per se, maybe just a self-involved place, but it's shitty in any case and it hurts people.

I'm old school about few things in life, but I'm sticking to my guns on this one. It doesn't cost anything to be kind. It's just as easy, if not easier, than being a self-serving insufferable asswipe. A lot of people have gotten along really far in their lives by not thinking twice walking all over people around them, but you're not going to get that from me. I'm far from perfect, I'm not Sunshine Pollyanna Dipshit. But I believe that being good and just and kind is about the best thing going. I don't know if I always believed that, but the older I get, the more that's all that matters to me about the people I run into. I just feel like you have a choice every time you interact with someone: harshly or compassionately. And, I wish more people opted for the second choice.

There, I needed to get that off my chest. Jesus. It's really been bothering me. Again. And, yesterday, it all sort of piled on and I was so pissed off.

In other news. I love the colored labels in gmail.

6 comments:

sparkypoo said...

Amen, sister.

Sizzle said...

why IS it so hard for people to just be kind? it's not like there are multiple definitions of kind. it's very straightforward.

it makes me sad and angry!

now i must go check out the colored labels on gmail.

Nicky said...

I think what often astounds me is how people will actually make an extra effort to be unpleasant or unkind, when to be nice or neutral would have required the same or less effort.

There's still a lot of evolving we need to do if we want to survive as a species, I feel.

Mermaidhead said...

I really believe that people who treat others with blatant unkindness feel very, very bad about themselves. Assholes who belittle those they encounter or are neglectful of other's feelings are seriously lacking in the soul department.

All I have to say is Karma...

Bubs said...

That was a brilliant post, and I feel your anguish I think. I love what you wrote:

"It doesn't cost anything to be kind. It's just as easy, if not easier, than being a self-serving insufferable asswipe. ... But I believe that being good and just and kind is about the best thing going. I don't know if I always believed that, but the older I get, the more that's all that matters to me about the people I run into. I just feel like you have a choice every time you interact with someone: harshly or compassionately."

That is so true, and so simple. If I may go all holiday-season spiritual on you, what you said reminds me of my favorite bible verse (the one I try, and fail so often, to live by), Micah 6:8

"What does the Lord require of you? To do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God."

jewgirl said...

The vent is good. Gotta get tha mishogos out. If you don't, it festers and brews and makes us sick. This is not an option.

Two of my neighbors are warring over garbage. One broad leaves hers outside her door on occasion. The other one HAAAATES when she does this. It's the pettiest argument, complete with nasty notes, sneers and bitter snaps in the hallway. When I overhear them I think would it fucking kill you to both bend just a teeny tiny bit?! Evidently it would because they are so MEAN to each other. They won’t listen to what the other is saying. It’s most disheartening. Some people love to fight and need drama. It sustains them. PS: It’s what’s fucking up this world. Ga'head say it, "no shit, Schwartz."