Aug 2, 2007

"THERE IS A LIGHT THAT NEVER GOES OUT" PART 2

I think one of the most sacred and, in a way, beautiful things about being human is grieving. I really feel that when life happens and someone we care for lands in a situation of loss and needs to grieve, it is our only task to support them and take care of the details for them and help them grieve. Not distract them, not try to cheer them up, not to change the subject, not ask for any information or thanks or direction from them, but just to act in a way that says, I have the details covered and I will save your place, you step out for now and return only when you are ready. Hold nothing back, my friend. Grieve. Grieve as hard as you can.

The details, the what, when, where, how and, possibly even, the why are not for us, but for the grieving to ask of the situation, the world, the ether. And, the what, when, where, how and, possibly even, the why are not for us, but for the grieving to offer when they are ready. Information emerges on its own in due time. I feel like the best thing to do is to let things lie, and let people speak and share when they have processed things, taken it in a bit, and are ready to share.

A friend I love so very much is grieving hard tonight and facing difficult times ahead.

We never really know how losing those we love, both animals and people, will feel until we lose them. And, when someone we love is feeling the confusion and grief of losing any sort of companion, all we can do is love them, hold them as close as we can, and say, I have the details covered and I will save your place, you step out for now and return only when you are ready. Hold nothing back, my friend. Grieve. Grieve as hard as you can.

12 comments:

Wings - john k said...

So wonderfully stated and exquisitely put into practice

NewDealHistorian said...

As someone who has benefited from your care, efforts and sensitivity during such a time, I can attest to how blessed this person is to have your support while going through one of life's great difficulties. And in the end she/he will pull through, despite the intense sadness and grief that comes with such moments. We can never replace those beautiful souls that come and depart from our lives; we can only always keep their memory a blessing in our minds and hearts.

Jen said...

Beautifully stated and so true.

Rhet said...

The first paragraph?
Well done.
To grieve is a private thing. You do not need a catalyst, you need time only.

Madam Z said...

Wise, wonderful words, Amy. Any grieving person who is a friend of yours is fortunate.

Eebie said...

Elegantly put. (I must admit I'm quite happy to see it as I've always struggled to say it - moving too quickly to "Stop saying 'think happy thoughts' and 'don't cry' then into how it is so psychologically misguided.) Thank you for saying it with compassion and poise.

KELSO'S NUTS said...

Ahh, all of you are all wet! All Jewgirl needs to do is go to the gym 9 3/16 days a week and switch to a vegan diet.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That bit of sarcasm was a nod of respect to Jewgirl and a brucha.

Beautifully put, Amy.

jewgirl said...

this is beautiful, my friend. a million thank you's wouldn't be enough gratitude.

you are profoundly special and dear.

Bubs said...

What an amazing and lovely observation, so true. So many people become profoundly uncomfortable in the presence of grief, and end up offering platitudes to make the grieving person "feel better"...

Dale said...

Beautifully put. There is really no need for any other comment.

Miss Smack said...

I'm so sorry Katie. So very deeply sorry.

Writeprocrastinator said...

That was very, very sweet.