Nov 15, 2006


Weather made a long trip much longer yesterday. But finally, last night, I arrived home, feeling like I had been away for a month. I have a lot to do in the next few days, but, hey, deadlines I'll take. Bring 'em, right?

I had two noteworthy happenings at gas stations yesterday. One, see below:


The other, I'm afraid, is a bit more complex. I picked up a burrito and went to work on it as I was filling my car. Two guys, both maybe ninteen or tweny, drove up on the opposite side of the pump and one went in, presumably to pay. As he was coming back out, he stopped me and my burrito and told me I had a "great ass" but if I coninued to eat "shit like that" I wouldn't boast such an asset for long.

Ex-fucking-cuse me?

He threw his hands up and insisted he didn't mean anything by it but that it would be a shame to see me "go to waste"...

Oh man...

I'm sorry but did you try to assert dominance by assuming that one burrito means I am uneducated in matters of nutrition? Did you just assume your opinion of my ass is not only welcome but some unspoken standard as if you are The Good Ass Decider? What makes you think you have the right? Ever think you might embarrass someone or hurt her feelings? AND, who the fuck are you to decide that a human being as more valueable at one size than at another with your miserable "go to waste" comment? Above all else, where are your fucking manners?

(Insert dream sequence when I know all sorts of self-defense tactics and in one swift movement, I pin his arm behind his back and press him, face and chest first onto the trunk of my car while I shout, "You'd better fucking appologize right fucking now." He and his friend whimper and change their ways and go on to become upstanding, enlightened citizens and always stop and smile gratefully for the badass at the gas station who showed them their error of their ways. Sigh...)

Asshole. Crap like that never ceases to amaze. I'll spare you the details of my response, but choice and awesome as it was, it probably fell on completely deaf ears, if you'll pardon the expression. Somewhere, he probably thought he was being complimentary and helpful. Well, even if he didn't or couldn't take my pointed advice to heart, at the very least, he probably won't forget it anytime soon.

Anyway, back to work. Deadlines beckon.


V. said...

And they say Chivalry is dead.

AL said...

so basically what you are saying is that i CAN continue on my all-burrito diet?

Leah said...

And then you threw your book at him and said, "Read page XXX!"

I can't remember what page the ball slicing is on, but I bet it would speak volumes.

diane said...

Ha ha!! I love how the Minions of Amy have turned the big hub-bub about the book away from the abortion and over to the ball chopping. :-)
Though, you know what my favorite part is still, and it's not either of those!