"ASK ME, UH-HO-HO, ASK ME"

Savannah Schroll Guz, author of American Soma and all-around wonderful human being (full disclosure: I worked closely with her on the book at So New), has one delightfully geekademic blog meme happening, What Would You Do?:

SSG: In American Soma, the title story imagines the mass drugging of the nation through popular foods, like pizza, coffee, and beer to assure the results of a presidential election. If you were in power and wanted to maintain it, what methods would you use?

AG: Uh, well, I believe that we reap what we sow, so I wouldn't do any such thing. Howevah, if I had, say, an evil alter-ego, I imagine she would do something which involved the manipulation of chain stores, crap-pop music and reality television. Just a guess.

SSG: In American Soma, there is a story called “The Fountain,” in which the dirty water of a dive bar toilet can make people younger. Considering injections of botulism toxins and painful chemical peels are now the accepted way to rejuvenate your appearance, would you reach into a scummy toilet in order to maintain your youth or regain it? And what's your unlikely fountain of youth?

AG: Maybe I'd dunk one boob at a time into that creepy toilet to bring back the rack I had a decade ago. Ha! No, actually, I swear by time swimming in the ocean, drinking a lot of water, writing it all out instead of holding it all in, and cooking from scratch. If that stuff can't keep me hanging on, I don't know what will.

SSG: American Soma’s story “Postmodern Colonialism” is a not-so futuristic story that charts conquests achieved through capitalism (and sometimes, war). In host nations, protective compounds are created, in which American white collar employees are stationed and eventually cannot leave. Do you think this still lies in America ’s future? Or are we already there?

AG: I'm in; I've spent a lot of time in and around Los Alamos, NM. The history of their postal system alone is a little unnerving.

SSG: American Soma is largely about a variety of personal or communal dystopias and imperfect worlds. By contrast, what three things comprise your idea of a utopia?

AG: Technology, wine and olives. I could figure it out from there.

Tag, you're all it.