"GOLDEN LIGHTS, DISPLAYING YOUR NAME"

What are unsuspecting people searching to land themselves on this blog right now? Let's take a look.

amy guth: Well, this one is reasonable enough, I suppose.

drunk stripper: Ah, okay. I can't really help you with that.

junkiebear: I was Junkiebear for Halloween once. See the photo here. Please note I was standing in a Pier One store when this was taken, which I find very funny.

women and their big mouths: Maybe, dear searcher, the girls on the playground would be nice to you if you weren't a douchenozzle.

giant jesus statue fountain: No clue. But sounds gaudy, no?

poems where you were treated unfairly or overlooked: Dang dawg. Someone give this guy a hug.

on the road that I must follow: You must mean the Mr. Mister hit Kyrie? Kyrie Eleison down teh road that I must travel! Kyrie Eleison through the darkness of the ni-iiiight!

ouija board made from trees: Say what?

blue how soon is now t-shirt: I'd love one, thanks.