Jun 15, 2007

"IS IT REALLY SO STRANGE?"

My BFF, Schwartzeleh tagged me for the Dumb Ass Meme. No for real. It's the meme of dumb. Check this out:

"For this meme, I'm going to ask you to answer three questions: What is the dumbest question you've ever been asked? Why was it dumb? And, what did you answer?"

So, how I will ever narrow it down, I don't know. So, I'm going to just give you guys some highlights.

#1: Dumb at Work.
Former boss: So, do anything fun for Easter?
LaGuth: Oh, no, I don't celebrate Easter.
FB: Who on earth doesn't celebrate Easter?

#2: Dumb on Beauty.
Drunk Girl on Train: Hi? Hi? Hi. Not to be a total lesbian or anything, but do you know that you would be totally pretty without glasses?
DGoT's Friend: Mindy, that's mean! She can't help it!
Guthieroo: I'm actually pretty attached to my glasses. Thank you, though. Sort of.
DGoT to Friend as they exit train: That is so sad! She'll never be happy.

#3: Dumb with Vices.
Woman in bar more than a decade ago when I used to smoke: Are those cigarettes? Are they Camel lights?
Amy: Yes. (pointing to the pack)
Woman: Oh, may I have one? I love the Marlboro Man in those ads. So hot, right?

#4: Dumb When Meeting New People.
Friend of Friend: Do you think those Jews I met were being nice because they feel guilty about how other Jews are so pushy?
Guth: (blink, blink) Maybe you guys just got on really well.
FoF: No, I'm pretty sure they were Jewish people.

#5: Dumb in time travel.
Guy in train: You look all retro, are you from the 50s?
Gutheleh: (blink, blink) Yes. Yes I am.

#6: Dumb neighbor .
Neighbor: Is that a dog or a cat that you have?
Guthie: A kitty. A little black cat.
Neighbor: Oh, he's really cute. I saw him sitting in the window.
(And you couldn't discern between a dog and a cat?)

#7: Dumb Schmooze.
Random guy at schmooze event: Do you have pets?
Guthish: Yes, one cat.
Guy: I love cats, what's it's name?
Guthish: It? (laughs) His name is Chairman Meow.
Guy: I don't get it. Why not "President" or "Mister".
Guthish: Like Chairman Mao. Maoist China? Cultural Revolution?
Guy: Oh, never saw that one. I heard it was really good though.

#8: Dumb Eyes.
Guy on bus: Are those your real eyes?
Gutho: Yes, I can see out of them and everything.
Guy: No, I mean that color, what do you call that color?
Gutho: Hazel.
Guy: Weeeeird! I've never seen eyes that color before.

#9. Dumb on line.
Dude in line: Excuse me? What nationality are you? You look Greek. Are you Greek?
Amyroo: No, I'm a US citizen.
Dude: No, I mean your nationality. You know what that means, right, sweetie?
Amyroo: Yeah, it means the country of which one is a citizen. Do you mean ethnicity, lambchop?
Dude: Whatever. I'm Greek. I only date Greek girls. I hope you're Greek, baby.
Amyroo: I'm not Greek.

Sigh.

13 comments:

jewgirl said...

I am on the floor howling from you. howling. I'm crying. the tears are streaming down my face.

what a perfect meemish.

Doctor Bean said...

Very funny, pumpkin.

Is it possible that the guy in #5 was being sarcastic/trying to be funny?

Amy Guth said...

No, he was high as a kite and straight-faced. And a kid. So funny.

Betsy said...

Oh dear. I don't know which of the dumbnesses is most upsetting.

sparkypoo said...

I love that you called the Greek "Lambchop." Too, too funny. :)

anandamide said...

As far as the "dumb on beauty" one goes: agreed. very dumb.

but there's an excuse. this has been a very dumb gimmick in a lot of very dumb movies. female who only needs to come out of her shell begins to open up 3/4 of the way through movie. male romantic lead reaches down. removes glasses. VOILA !!! Blind hottie !!!!

Einat said...

Well, I was once asked if I am "Hannukan" by a girl with whom I had to be lab partners.

Amy Guth said...

Hanukahan? Are you fucking serious? That's tragic stupidity, right there. How did you not drop dead/laugh in her face/kick her in the shin?

diane said...

I love Hannukan! It sounds like a race of people from Star Wars! :-D

Kent on Clark said...

hilarious. GD it. GD hilarious.
I especially love the "blink blink"... I can hear the blinks like in an old Warner Brothers cartoon.

Einat said...

Um, if memory serves correctly she also once thought the stopwatch we had to use for an experiment was broken "because it kept going from fifty-nine seconds to a minute." So, I knew who I was dealing with, and simply corrected her and proceeded to mock her with friends who experienced similar things, such as some idiot saying "All Asians should fucking go back to China."

The REALLY depressing things about it is, the district is considered to be one of the best in the state.

ALT - [f r a m e s] said...

#9.

No. 9.

Number 9...

deadspot said...

I'm totally going to have to steal "lambchop". I hope you don't mind.