"WHATEVER HAPPENS"
Tonight, I am painting my apartment. It's fantastic. Walls and ceilings, and touching up the base trim I repainted last summer. Oh, it's so nice. Everything looks so clean and fresh and, well, for those of you who know me well enough, I'm all about clean. Hallway, check. Bathroom, check. Living room is in-progress, bedroom is next. I'm not sure I'm ready to paint my kitchen. I really dig the color it is. My dad had a health scare about a year and a half ago and while I was waiting for details, quiet and chewing on the inside of my cheek, a thousand miles away from him, I picked up a paintbrush and painted my entire kitchen retro-y mint green. All by hand. And my kitchen is a pretty decent size. I just needed a little repetitive project in those hours so I could fucking think, you know?
Anyway, it isn't that I'm sentimental about the kitchen paint. It isn't even that I am thinking that because I worked so carefully and slowly on it that it must stay. It juTs works. I just like it. Simple enough. Well, and it's sort of in a good break-off point from the rest of the apartment, so, maybe it's just good old fashined laziness. I say all of that and know full well that I could change my mind in a few hours and roll every trace of the green away. You just never know what kind of wild hairs I'll get, I suppose.
To make painting morE fun than it already is, I am shamelessly rocking out and singing at the top of my lungs to an 80s station. I heard my neighbor come home from work and could have sworn I heard him laugh when he walked past my apartment door and heard me singing Mr. Mister's, "KYRIE BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH ROAD THAT I MIST TRAVEL! KYRIE BLAH BLAH BLAH THE DARKNESS OF THE NIGHT!" (Shoutout to Skirmish of Wit on that one. Good times. Good times.)
Then, there was more laughter when my other neighbor came in and heard, "AHHHHHHH! THERE'S A LOT OF OPPORTUNITIES IF YOU KNOW WHEN TO TAKE THEM, YOU KNOW? THERE'S A LOT OF OPPORTUNITIES! IF THERE AREN'T YOU CAN MAKE THEM! MAAAAKE! OR! BREAK! THEM! AH AHAHA AHAHHAHA!"
But, not nearly as much laughter as when yet another neighbor came in and heard A-Ha's "ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY! TAKE ON ME! TAAAAAAKE MEEEEEEE OONNNNN! I'LL BE GONE! IN A DAY OR TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO." Ha! Joke's on them. They missed the awesome Molly Ringwald circa Breakfast Club dance that went along with.
(adjusts glasses)
Okay, everyone just take a number. I know this level of dorkiness is irre-fucking-sistable. 
Whoa, The Bolshoi's "Away" is on, "YOU'D CROSS YOUR LEGS AND THEN YOU'D TOSS YOUR HAAAAAAIR! AWAYYYYY! YES YOU GET BY! AWWWWWAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY HEEEE HEEEE!"
Haha, my poor cat is both amazed and terrified of this nonsense.
10 comments:
Is this the first picture of you ever published without lipstick?
I totally have lipstuff on. I'm a freak about it.
It's just, you know, "Guthmouth" colored.
"Fly High.....Lesbian Seagull.....laaaa"
Haha, Anonymous! I think you just showed your hand a bit.
Yak fur.
As much as a freak as I am? Did you see how often I reapplied my lipstick/lipgloss the other day??
I take the cake for lip-coverage-freakiness. ;)
kidding daaaalink,
thought you'd get a kick out of that.
I could probably scare up(pardon the expression) photos of the author, sans lipspackle if necessary.
May I call you next time I need some painting done, as you seem to enjoy it and I loathe it? Will come up with some kind of service I can provide in exchange.
Holy shit, I forgot to tell you what I found out about the song "Kyrie"! So, ok so, I looked up the lyrics and found that, contrary to my stubborn assertion that the lyric went "Kyrie: a laser on the road that I must follow" (compelling, right?), the lyric is actually "Kyrie Eleison/Down the road that I must follow," which for me was like, well what the hell does that mean? Well, then I happened to be at a performance of Verdi's Requiem at the Cape Cod Symphony this summer, and I look down in the program notes, where the words are printed with a translation, when what to my wondering eyes should appear but the phrase "Kyrie Eleison"!! Holy shit! Apparently it means "Lord have mercy". So the song is actually "Lord," with the lyric "Lord have mercy down the road that I must follow." How 'bout that.
For what it's worth, I still sing along to it as "Kyrie: a laser down the road that I must follow." Even with the translation, it kinda makes sense, and besides, there's nothing better than slipping in a reference to a laser whenever possible (right? ;-) ).
Nicky is def. not Catholic. I knew it because 1/I was trained in classical music and 2/Vanilla Fudge (that's my era) also did a Krie Eleison and 3/I used to be married to a Catholic.
Speaking of which, my 17 y.o. stepson asked his mom and me, just talking theory, whether we'd object if he married a Catholic girl. I responded, "No, as long as she's Jewish."
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