Jun 25, 2006




"VICAR IN A TUTU"

Happy Pride! Today, I walked with my synagogue's entry in the Pride Parade and had a blast. The decorations we made (giant menorah with pride candles) turned out wonderfully, the rain cleared off and everyone seemed to have a fun time.

(I hung back near the float for a sec and took this picture. How could I not? Doesn't it look so fantastic?)

We were number 100 of 237, so we stood around for over an hour beforehand. I was chatting with another member (who wore the greatest t-shirt of the day: "Nice Jewish Girl Seeks Same"), when a guy approached and began to tell us this bizarre story-- his wife is terminally ill and they decided it would be best for him to get a customized Real Doll to replace her, at least sexually. He began this in response to her shirt, telling her that if she didn't have luck finding this nice Jewish girl, she could look into purchasing one of these dolls.

Um, does he know how sisterly love works? I'm guessing not.

Anyway, he goes on and on about this doll, even opening his wallet to reveal an up-close portrait, not of his wife, but of his Real Doll. (Yes, I'll wait while you re-read that last sentence.) Oh, but that wasn't all! He also produced a credit card which he somehow got her (the doll) listed on! Seriously.

So, we marched! I particularly enjoyed responses like, "Yeah! I'm Gay and Jewish! Woooo!" and "Mazel Tov!" and "Shalom, Gay Jews!" and "Shabbat Shalom to YOU!"... ah, good times. A few people whipped out various Hebrew tattoos, which I'm always in favor of doing, a group of young and shirtless men tried to do a drunked kickline to "Hava Nagila" and one group of women started singing "V'Shamru" as we passed. Two women shrieked, "I'm fucking Jewish! Yeah!" as we passed and drunkenly marched with us for a while. I don't know what happened to them, only that they were suddenly not marching. I can onl assume they passed out someplace safe...? Yeah.

There were very few representatives from the Right, which is fine by me. Maybe only about four or five people with "G-d Hates You" crap, blah blah blah. I skipped and danced in front of them, because I could. Why fight them and rile them up when I can just rub it in their faces that I can celebrate and goof around in the middle of a Pride Parade? Ha.

I saw more than a few ladies with only x's of electric tape on their nipples, some gorgeous drag queens, some hideous drag queens, some hairy drag queens, many dick dancers in cowboy hats, many, many punk rock grrls, and one old friend. Not a bad day, I'd say.

5 comments:

jeff said...

Um, instead of a fuckdoll, couldn't this dude use the seven thousand dollars to, say, KEEP HIS WIFE ALIVE?!?!?

AmHistorian said...

I bet his wife is heartened to know that instead of spending the last moments of her life at the hospital by the side, that he is home shagging a doll.

Huh.

Nicky said...

You know, I think it would distress me more to think that if I died my husband would be fucking a doll that looked creepily like me than it would to think that he would grieve appropriately and then move on in a healthy manner to a new, alive partner. Seriously. The replica wife approaches the border of necrophelia in my view.

pink floyd said...

I saw you there! You looked fabu!

thea said...

I can't believe I missed you. I was outside Las Mananitas the whole time. I think I was braving the port-o-fuck it fuckin stinks in here gonna swipe some TP in case I come back-potty at that time. Then we hung with old gay men at Bucks and waited in more bathroom lines.

We're here, we're queer, we piss out all our beer!